Please, I need help with my ex
First of all, to those who read it, I want to tell you that I know I will receive many messages that it is not worth it, that I am a bad trader, that I am a bad person, etc. I want and I hope to receive advice, because I am a person who is making changes in his life TRUTH, with help and enough I have to be judged by people who know us, so that people who do not judge me. I simply wish and long to receive opinions about what I can do to recover what I consider to be the love of my life, without fear of saying it. I go with the story:
The love of my life and I had 2 years. We started to leave at the beginning of our university career. She lived alone in the city since she came from outside, and I did
I lived here. We met and felt immediate attraction, even she left her boyfriend from her old city to be with me.
The relationship principle was magical. It was all perfect, but some time later the problems began, I think, due to the coexistence we had, since we spent approximately 16 hours together every day. I would sleep in her house, she in mine and so, living as if we were husbands. Disharmonies began, differences, normal. And we argued for jealousy, for things we did not like. Some time, the discussions started to become aggressive (we did not trust ourselves physically) but if we said bad things and so on. The fights would go by and we would get ready and keep going, but we would relapse again. This happened in the middle of the relationship, until it reached a point where it was decided that we should have a change. We gave ourselves 2 weeks to change those aggressive fights and that mistreatment that we were giving ourselves, and to be able to continue well. That time was in November. After that, her mother came to live in the city since she was very lonely and the mother wanted to start her business, so things changed. We were no longer and So long together, we did not sleep together several nights in a row (at the most 1) and so on. We had discussions, but we managed because we loved each other.
Almost 20 days ago, we had a misunderstanding (it is not important to go into details) and this I have not said, but I am the most impulsive of the two. With the help of psychologists I realized that I have a problem of impulsivity due to a rage contained by childhood problems, but I had never wanted to realize it (this is because since I finished with her I decided to go to the psychologist to solve the problem of Rage). Then 20 days ago we had a difference, to which I reacted very badly. I do not know why, but I still can not find explanations. I treated her badly, I was rude to her and I offended her. I tried to solve things immediately but what I did was overwhelm her as she was feeling very bad, and how she is living with her mother, she told him what had happened, and she told her about the other fights we had had before (the arguments aggressive and the things we said and did).
She does not want to see me in painting, and her mother does not either. They hate me practically (despite the fact that I always behave very well with them both, putting aside the couple's problems, I was always available to help)
In the university we attended classes together, and she decided to change her subjects so as not to see me (I do not know if influenced by her mother) and her mother told me not to look for her, that she was a patan and many other things. The mother thinks that I did a lot of bad things to her, but the reality is that we both made mistakes (maybe more serious because of my impulsiveness). He does not want to see me in paint, he has blocked me from everything. I really just tried to talk to her 2 times in these 20 days: for WhatsApp but I blocked, and in person and she said she could not "do it", not that she did not want to. I have tried to continue with my activities to be well, but I think about it all the time.
Now my question comes: what should I do? Please try to put on my shoes: I made a mistake, but she is the woman of my life. For now what I do is not contact her or try to talk to her, so as not to overwhelm her. How long do I wait? How should I act? Should I talk to his mother? While that I continue to solve my internal problems because I want to be a better person for her and me, but I do not want to lose her. Should I let time pass? In these moments the only thing that Uriel is to be with her and to show her that the relationship will be different and it will be a new relationship, but I do not know anything about what she thinks. (She told me days after finishing, that she hated me, I guess because of the anger). I only see her in 2 classes at the university. If someone has gone through something SIMILAR, please help me.
Please try to put on my shoes and give me advice about what I can do to try to get it back, I really love her and I want to try it even if it is impossible. Avoid the advice to leave it and that, please. Try to be optimistic and think what you would do.
