Hurt beyond belief

Recently I had found out that my boyfriend had taken it upon himself to go on a relationship forum and pretty much put the negatives and positives of our relationship (we've been together almost a year and a half). I always tell him that girls find out everything! I may not find out right then and there but I will find out, the fact he obviously didn't feel comfortable enough to come talk about these things with me might hurt the most only because we're best friends and best friends tell each other everything! I've confronted him about this and he told me that his opinions that he had written on the forum has changed from the time he's posted and that the things he said really only bothered him because we both know we want to be with each other forever. But he has flaws too( which I over look because I love him) and I know relationships take work we never fight because in my experience it gets you no where! So we've had major bumps in the road for the entirety of our relationship, but we have been mature adults and have talked all of our problems out with out getting too upset at each other. I mean the stuff he wrote was extremely mean and I just don't know if I can continue on with someone who potentially nay still this way about me.

I don't understand. Aren't you doing the same thing - going on a forum to complain about him? Okay, so you haven't gone into details and said "extremely mean" stuff but you aren't expressing your doubts to him either. It's pretty obvious that you two need to communicate a little better. Also, you say you overlook his flaws and you don't fight. Actually, fighting, when done correctly (without name calling and getting otherwise verbally abusive or physical) is sometimes good for a relationship because it clears the air. There are things that he might be doing that really bug you but he might not know this unless you let him know. And it seems there are or were things about you that bugged him which he didn't tell you. If you really can't talk face to face right now, write to each other - I mean both of you have no problems writing on a relationship site it seems so maybe expression by written word is the way to go right now.

He was trying to get help for your relationship.

I agree with the poster lalalita.

You said he said mean things about u though.. Are u sure they were truly mean, or are u just being defensive.. You didn't clarify what he said.. So I don't know.

If he said truly mean things then you can either try to forgive him or break up with him.

I had an ex when I was younger who found my online journal and freaked the **** out because a lot of the material was me venting about him. People need to vent to an anonymous source occasionally. It didn't mean I hated him or cared about him any less.

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Originally Posted by lalalita [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I had an ex when I was younger who found my online journal and freaked the **** out because a lot of the material was me venting about him. People need to vent to an anonymous source occasionally. It didn't mean I hated him or cared about him any less.

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I know right. A little over a week ago I was having an arguement with my boyfriend. He was trying to talk to me and I was ignoring him. I picked up my phone and he asks, "What are you doing? Are you venting on Evthreads?" [a fan forum for the band Evanescence] "Complaining about your boyfriend?" LOL. I was just checking the time, but point is he knows me so well, he knows that's what I do. It's not always a bad thing.

This is hypocrisy to the point of laughable, irony. Itsalwayssunny, you win Stupid Bitch of the Year 2013..by a landslide.

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Originally Posted by Itsalwayssunny [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Recently I had found out that my boyfriend had taken it upon himself to go on a relationship forum and pretty much put the negatives and positives of our relationship (we've been together almost a year and a half). I always tell him that girls find out everything! I may not find out right then and there but I will find out, the fact he obviously didn't feel comfortable enough to come talk about these things with me might hurt the most only because we're best friends and best friends tell each other everything! I've confronted him about this and he told me that his opinions that he had written on the forum has changed from the time he's posted and that the things he said really only bothered him because we both know we want to be with each other forever. But he has flaws too( which I over look because I love him) and I know relationships take work we never fight because in my experience it gets you no where! So we've had major bumps in the road for the entirety of our relationship, but we have been mature adults and have talked all of our problems out with out getting too upset at each other. I mean the stuff he wrote was extremely mean and I just don't know if I can continue on with someone who potentially nay still this way about me.

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So what is your motive posting here? Do you want advice or revenge?

You dont fight coz it gets you nowhere? Arguing is healthy in a relationship sometimes. Obviously name calling and shouting is bad but expressing how you feel, communicating and resolving issues is necessary. You both need to stop being passive aggressive, stop fearing confrontation and learn to communicate with each other.

Sometimes we say things we dont mean when angry. Can you forgive whatever he said and work on improving your relationship? What did he say? Perhaps you should take on board whatever hes unhappy with any work on making some positive changes. If you cant forgive him then just break up.

Agree with most who said you're being hypocritical. He obviously didn't want to tell people close to him about the problems he was facing with you and your relationship together, so he asked anonymously for advice to help him deal with the issues. And btw, you must have been snooping to find this out? Or let me guess, he left his laptop "open" on the forum's web page right, lol? I guess there is a trust issue here too.