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Very painful situation
So I been chasing this girl for over 8 weeks, I romanced her, told her how I feel, made her blush, made her laugh, been out on a couple of dates already and it definitely clicks bigtime. Then last thursday I kissed her for the first time, she was the one that initiated the kiss, and we kissed for like 20-30 minutes, it felt great. Throughout those 8 weeks she has warned me a couple of times that she had a very hard year and something happened in that year that hurt her alot. Its now been 3 days and I haven't heard a word from her, nothing. I know that something in her past is holding her back from love, she's afraid to open up but she does not want to tell me what has happened to her. So here I am completely in love and I don't even know whats gonna happen or if I will ever hear from her again, I don't even have her number(just her emailaddress).
How do I get this girl to open up, after we kissed I asked her, please talk to me about what has happened to you and she nodded yes, but its probably so bad that she's even scared thinking about it herself. To me this is the women of my dreams and when she's with me she seems very happy, its when she's not with me that her demons show their ugly heads again.
What can I do?
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You're moving way too fast. If she had a major traumatic event and you've gone on two dates, I don't care how long you were "chasing' her, you need to slow down, take a deep breath, and let her tell you when she's ready. Don't push her.
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But when I am not around to support her, won't it be a case of out of sight, out of heart? I don't want her to think that I am not deeply interested in her, I would wait for her, if I atleast knew something, now I know nothing.
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Too much attention too early could be smotehring. When she feels like it she will tell you all about her past but in due time.
Why don't you concentrate on enjoying your time together, spending a happy and easy time together without talking about the future...just chill out and no pressure.
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Then I will leave it up to her, if I do not hear from her again then I will know I did my best, she knows who I am and what I stand for, lets hope I hear from her again.
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I agree with the posters above.
you should give her some space, she probably needs to figure out if this is what she really wants.
just be there for her when she needs you to
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My entire heart is with her and I think she knows that, its painful and it makes me sad but if time is what she needs then that is what she will get.
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Don't give your heart out to someone who isn't willing to do the same. Keep yourself guarded, man...she can break your heart if she's not ready for a relationship and you're putting too much of yourself out there!!!
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You are right in saying I am setting myself up for a world of hurt, and I am trying to resists but thats just who I am, this is not just some girl, its someone I feel very strongly for, the kind of girl you seldom meet. I will give her time and in a few days I will send her an email stating my understanding and that she can allways contact me when she wants to and that I will be there for her. I will not look her up any further, this only pains me too much cuz so far its been too onesided indeed, even though she is not to blame due to her past issues, its like fighting an uphill battle, having love to give and seeing it fall on deaf ears.