Breakup

Hi everyone! Just wanna start out and say that english is not my native launguage, im from Sweden. Im 19 years old like 5 months ago I met my first to be girlfriend. She's beautiful, funny, weird (like me), she's one of the funniest people I've ever met. We saw eachother for like 2 months and then decided to become a cupple. We were madly in love with eachother, I've never felt this way for another person befor. We hung out allmost everyday for 1 and a half month and everything was perfect. I began to understand that I loved her. I did the sweetest things for her, like one time when I had been away from Home for a week and We decided to meet up at my house. Soo I bought Red and white roses, sexy panties from Victorias secrets ( just for fun) and kinder eggs ( she had told me just when We met that it was her favorit). I spred the white roses leafs both from the flower and from the stem around my bed when she got there. She loved it.. I was soo Good to her, I always did something special when We had been away from eachother for awhile. Allways when she was sad she called or came to me and I had to comfort her, I didn't mind it, I just felt special. When the summer came she had to go away for 6 weeks for a job in the south part of Sweden. She didn't want to, but she didn't have any other job so she had to. She worked with kids and had to move there for those 6 weeks. I went down there a cupple of times and We had such an awesome time together. After 5 weeks had past she came Home to spend time with me and her friends. I noticed that she felt abit of, soo I asked her. I asked if she still loved me, she did, We had the most romantic sex I've ever had, it was fullmoon and We where at the beach and had sex on the cliffs, it felt soo Good to have someone like that. A week later when she came Home, she told me that We needed to talk, I got it, she was gonna dump me. I was soo heartbroken, even though she didn't tell me she was gonna dump me I got it anyway, sat and cryed for myself the whole day and night until she called the next morning. She dumped me and Said that she wasn't inlove with me anymore, how couldn't she? It had been a week! Or she Said that she was still inlove with me but wasn't ready for a relationship, or didn't Wanna have Any with me atleast. She cried soo much, and I had to comfort her and tell her that she wasn't a bad person. Who the **** does that, I feel so ****ing pathetic, and I told her that I loved her and just wanned to see her happy and if it wasn't with me, I was okey with it. I didn't just say it to win her back, I actually ment it. Had never told anyone befor that I loved anyone, she was the first. And it was the first time I told her too. I'll started to talk about some memories that We shared and she stoped me becouse she didn't wanna think about the Good time We had together. I told her that everything was alright, that she didn't had to be sorry for not being inlove with me. I joked abit to make her smile, she wondered why I didn't cry and I looked happy anyway, I just didn't want her to feel bad, cuz inside I was dieing. I asked for a last kiss from her and hot one, It was beautiful, i wish I could keep that feeling for ever. I Said goodbye and left. Came back 10 mins later with her forgotten jeans. And sent back Home and got myself soo drunk I past out. The one thing I don't get is that how Can you be inlove with someone and be soo happy together and still leave you when We hadn't spent Much time with eachother for weeks, couldn't We just had spent 1 week with eachother after she came Home and see if it still worked? Sound I still go after her? I love her so Much, I can't even sleep or eat. Just get myself drunk.. Sorry for the long and fuzzy text. She's 2 years older than me, not Cuz that matters.