OFFSIDE in a relationship----for girls like me

My dear girls whoever
I guess you have a dramatic night.
I guess you perceived these feelings are approaching your life. The passion and fun seems to submerged in the mundane life. There’re less communications about books, thoughts, fun parts about our life, two no longer try hard to impress each other, because deep down they deem sure that “he/she will love me even though I poo in front of him”. It is the time the SHE start to clean up house, take care of his diet, tell him whether he have a clean underwear, feed his kitties, pick up furniture and arrange the fridge installment……the time SHE start to take on family responsibility and feel it’s her duty, yes she’s subtly tired but happy as the woman in the house, only that, wait for it baby……IT’S NOT YOUR HOUSE AND YOU ARE NOT HIS WIFE!!!
Yes, this is those boundry-ambiguous period in a relationship that we call it….ok we don’t have a name for it but we see it all the time. We read it in fable books before the dating life start “once upon the time, there’s a Lucy who dated Tom and live with he and his kids as wife/mom for three years, she toil and moil for them and end up with broke up, only left hurt and broken heart…. “ The old and wise tale warns the to-be girlfriends to hold their feminine hormones and woman-in-the-house compulsive disorder. But like cliché foam opera plot, they never listen. They give all the honorable reasons from “he really really need me” to “we are already like a family” to “he’s a nice guy and will never hurt me” or “he wants me to do so”, and then running into the position in no time, even faster than US troop taken up Iraq. Soon they find out they are no longer “damn sexy and smart” in front of their boyfriends any more: Offside, if we can borrow a word from football, in a relationship is the last thing you want to do, unless you want to change your style from a sweet lover to a nagging girlfriend. Soon I won’t be surprised that your nice guy will at some point think this girl try to control my life—I got to get rid of her! TA-DA! Gongrats hon, you will be the “wife” that won’t even need a divorce. Even if this not happen, we can make a brave wild guess, he will start to whine your “bitchyness” and one romantic night there will be another damn sexy and smart girl, listen to his bitchy-girl at home story, and will be his confidant instead of you.
My poor girl, all you did is just offside in a relationship. Please beg yourself to take care yourself, cherish your friend, and make your time around you instead pray your partner will synchronic with your thought. If it’s still not work, take out your phone and set “I’M NOT HIS WIFE!!! Remember there will never be too much exclamation marks, make sure it will visible to your eyes.

Your Relationship Comrade-in-Arms,
Jenny

Um... if I'm reading this correctly...

Then you're wrong. If you take controlling actions like that, you're almost sure to make him tired of it, and decide it's not for him. You don't want him to dislike the control, then treat him as an adult capable of doing for himself. He doesn't need you to pick up. He doesn't need you to do his laundry, arrange his fridge or ensure he's wearing clean underwear. If you don't like his style, then you're not well-suited for each other, but it's not up to you to make him do it your way.

You keep doing it your way, and you'll keep getting the same result. Continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result is just not quite sane.

Can we get a version with less rambling and more paragraphs with a point so any of that makes sense?