For a while I've had weight issues - Rant / help
I'm 24 years old. I have felt overweight since 7th grade, and it has progressively gotten worse. Currently, I'm 5'7" and weigh about 240 lbs. This is the most I have ever weighted. I know my problem, fast food. It's so easy to obtain, and it tastes delicious to me. It's not uncommon for me to grab fastfood twice a week. I used to have soda cut out completely from my diet, but the past 6 months it's been reintroduced.
I feel terrible after I eat fastfood. I feel like shit, like a slob. When I look at myself in the mirror, I am disgusted. I look like a whale. I am disgusted that I don't fit into pants that I could 6 months ago. My portions are out of control. You get the idea.
I WANT to do something and I know I am the only one who can do something about it, but obviously I need some sort of help. Sometimes I eat when I'm bored. I typically wake up around 12pm and go to bed around 3-4am. I have my last meal before 9pm, but it's not uncommon for me to grab a greek yogurt or two around midnight.
I DO drink water. Probably more than the average person.
The lowest weight I can remember was when I was down to 190 about 4 years ago. I still felt chubby then. I remember a girl I had a crush on told me I was cute, but chubby. I read that as, I'd date you, but you're too fat for me right now. That really ****ing bothered me. It motivated me. I wanted to lose weight, and I did and dropped to 190. Then I slowly got content with being 190 and just gained the weight back over the next year or so.
Anyways, sorry about the rant. I want to lose weight, I NEED to lose weight. I have dumbbells in my room. I have some exercise DVD bullshit that has tension cords. I have a treadmill that works fine in my basement. I don't really feel comfortable going to a gym in my current state. My self confidence is extremely low at the moment.
I want to at least get back to 200 before school begins again in September for me. Is that a realistic goal? Any tips / advice to get motivated would really be appreciated because I always have these moments where 'enough is enough' and then a day or two later it's like whatever.