Here's my take on what you've written . . .
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My "sex" problem is that Im living with a girl who used to work as an escort. I knew it, because that's how we met. I was also aware that she did adult modelling and was an exhibitionist. Because of all this she has had quite a few partners in her time. I accepted all this, although I suppose deep down I wasn't very happy about it - but I knew what I was taking on and you can't help who you fall for can you ? I forgot to say that she's given up the escorting now, in fact she did about a month after we met.
Allright. No real problems presented yet.
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Anyway, I found out last week that during that first month she did a gangbang / bukakke event. She told me she was going to do a party thing, and that she couldnt get out of it but promised she wouldn't go the whole way. I found out because there are pictures on the internet and I cant get the images out of my head. She told me she didnt tell me the truth because she didnt want to hurt me, and that we were a month in and she didnt know where we were going. I do accept that, and to a certain extent I forgive her for doing it.
You say you've forgiven her, but it sounds like you haven't. It sounds like she's telling the truth. It was early in the relationship, she had already planned it, she didn't know what was going on, but at the same time didn't want to hurt you. If you've forgiven her, you have to let it go as it's in the past.
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My problem : I accept that she didnt tell me the truth to accept me, but I struggle to accept why she did it in the first place.
It was her job. She was an escort. That's the crowd that escorts get thrown into. For her a gangbang is probably a lot more 'normal' than you would think it to be. That's why she did it in the first place, back then.
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I also struggle with the fact that it's always me pushing her to try and get the pictures taken off. Her apathy over the whole thing is nagging at me. She has told me she wants to move on, and remove the pictures - but seems not to want to make a real effort and sort it.
Once again she's an escort. She's been an adult model and an exhibitionist. To her, it's no big deal that the pictures are out there. To you it's a different story. She probably can't fully understand how you feel about them and probably never will because she's used to there being photos of her and probably has other photos that were on the internet. Just keep pushing and helping her along, but try to realize that she DID lead a very different lifestyle and so what might be a pressing issue for you may simply be a passing thought to her.
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I suppose trust between us has been a bit wrecked.
To be quite honest, from what I've heard, it doesn't sound like it has been wrecked. I don't know how long you've been together, but this seems to be the only incident that you're speaking of. And it was before you guys were even very serious. It sounds like she's making the effort to change for you (stopped being an escort, stopped all that, she IS trying to get it removed, however slowly and tediously, etc.) I don't think you should think about it as "trying to get it back" because it seems like for the most part, when you guys were serious and it DID look like it could be going somewhere, it was always there.
It may be hard to cope with, especially if it's not the type of girl you're used to being with, but it honestly looks to me like "so far, so good".
Rod Steele
PS - You gotta **** her. Every girl needs a good **** from her man every once in a while. If not for you, do it for her.
