An Open and Confusing relationship...help

Alright

i don't have anyone really to talk to about this... my husband and i have an open marriage with RULES.
the main rule is no ongoing relationships with other people, just as people may call them "fk and chucks"


SO he began to see this other girl... i thought it was a fk and chuck but apparently it wasn't.. i found out it was ongoing, i told him to end it. he did, but he told me that he still wants to be friends with her, this is fine but i don't think i'm going to want to see this girl for a while, shes "the other woman"... he understood.

I never ever look through my husbands phone... NEVER

but i did. which is why i'm here instead of talking to him.

previously this woman msged me saying they are just friends and hopefully i can get passed this, which i thought was extremely respectful, most women wouldnt give a shit.

APPARENTLY, she texted him along the line of saying something about our bed.

he replied about making it "dirty again".. well well well, another rule is NO GIRLS IN OUR FREAKING BED.. i have made this absolutely clear. I don't care if she stays over but sleep on the couch, sleeping in my bed is inappropriate !!!!....

i thought me and this girl had an understanding after our discussion, but i guess we don't.

what do i do? Am i disposable to a man that tells me he loves me everyday? do i confront her, woman to woman?

she and he have overstepped a boundary ( give a man a step.. he takes a mile). i do not trust them in a room together anymore.

i thought i should get a glass of wine or coffee with her and set i straight... but the only thing is... he cant know i went through his phone...

i know exactly when he's lying to me.

any suggestions?
and yes I know its open but we have RULES!!!!!

Quote:

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i know exactly when he's lying to me.

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Then ask him straight up if he's had her in your bed. If he says "no" then tell him that you always know when he's lying and you know he's lying now. Then make your "date" with his affair partner and see if she will listen to your "rules" because clearly, your husband is not.

He's basically cheated on you because even though your relationship is open, he has gone behind your back and into your bed. It is your husband that is doing the cheating, I'm wondering what you expect to change in him, by talking to her?