Hello again. Dumping my GF.

So, a few of you will remember me from a few weeks (maybe month) back. I had a thread with a dilemma, you all gave me great advice, etc etc.

I'm not really here to ask for advice. Not really looking for solutions. I just need to let it out.

I'm dumping my girlfriend. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, depending on what time she gets home tonight.

We've been together for just over 4 years, and although things aren't great at the minute, I think it's going to come as a shock to her. We have a house together. I'm shitting myself, thinking about doing it. I've never had to dump a girl before, and I've never been in a relationship longer than a few months, so it's always been easy to let things go.

I really don't want to hurt her, but after the advice I got from here, and reading other threads, I know that the longer I'm with her, the more I'll end up hurting her. I really feel trapped in the relationship, and need some space. I need to figure out what I want form life. I'm so bored in my relationship. It's the exact same, day in, day out. I feel really bad for wanting to end it, and I'm sure I'll feel worse when I do end it in the next 24 hours, but I really need to do it.

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to say, or how I'm going to say it. I don't know if I should say that I'm bored, need space and feel trapped, or if she'll take that as an insult to what we've had. I enjoyed what we had for the majority of the time, I'm just not ready for this yet. The next step for us is either breaking up, or getting married. It's far too serious for me.

I'm wondering how she'll act in the time after. Will she go cold bitch and get nasty (I don't expect that) - Or will she be sympathetic to my needs. Will she contact me in the weeks and months after, or will she leave me alone. We'll have a lot to discuss, and will have to be in contact with regards of what to do with the house.

I know it's cliche, but I really want to come out of this and still be able to talk to her. She says things all the time like, "No matter what happens between us, I'll always be there for you" - Which makes me think she will want to stay in contact. I know it's going to be hard for us both to deal with, but it's for the best.

I still care deeply for her, and want to give her everything. I want to let her know, that even though I'm breaking up with her, I will still help her financially. (We have debts together, that we should both pay, but are on her credit cards) - And I want to give her the house. I told her years ago that if we ever split up, she could have it all. I want to tell her this without trying to make it seem like it should soften the blow. I don't want her to think that I'm assuming the house and finances are a suitable replacement for me, but I want to give her these things so she has something for her future.

I can't concentrate on my life at the minute, I feel really depressed.

Thanks for reading.

Why are you bored? I didn't see your earlier thread.

Is she as bored as you? Have you tried to spice things up in any manner?

My other thread was in detail, with quite a few long winded posts, so I'll try to keep it brief.

- I'm bored because I do the same monotonous thing week in, week out. Not just with her, I'm talking about generally in life. She is bored, too. I gave up a lot to be with her.

- We've tried to spice things up. We've tried everything. We've given the relationship "One last shot" - too. Now, it's just so depressing. Sex is still great, ironically.

Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. I would be 100% honest with her, and don't candy coat anything. You can say no matter what happens you'll always be there for her, blah blah blah, but we all know how that stuff works out. You only get to live once, don't keep living in this monotonous life you're living.

Yeah if you really want to end it then do it. Your never gonna be happy if you just hold how you feel back. Just tell her the truth as soon as possible because the longer you wait the more its gonna hurt her. goodluck man

So....

had a chat with the GF last night, and most of today. I told her how I feel. There has been a lot of tears. I feel like an arsehole, mainly because I still haven't completely ended it. I told her I feel trapped, I told her the relationship is too serious for me, and that I'm going to move out, and we'll continue the relationship, just not living together, and see where it goes. Which, oddly, I'm actually looking forward too. The best times we ever had, was when we wasn't living together, going on dates, not seeing each other more than twice a week. I'm hoping going back to that may inject something back in to the relationship that I feel it's lacking.

It will also allow me to break the daily cycle I have, by living else where, and having my own space.

The problem is, she's absolutely heart broken, as you could probably imagine, and thinks this is it. She thinks I'm going to move out and then in a few weeks just dead the relationship. Now, while my intention a few weeks ago was to leave her, after some great advice here, and some soul searching of my own, I am genuinely looking forward to the aforementioned dating / not living together. I just don't know if she will be able to handle that.

I'm in such a mess.

Well, you've made your first move. The problem you have now is, you did one thing but had intentions to do something else. Of courses she thinks its all over from here, wouldn't you? Don't make a mess of things going back and forth on what you're gonna do. If you're planning on "working" on the relationship, explain that to her, if not, be straight up and tell her it's COMPLETELY over. None like to be dragged in the mud.