Random relationship stuff
ok for the past week ive been seeing my girl every day, stay the night at her house, pick her up from work.. partied at my apartment, drank a lot... had a lot of good times. her mom is gettin annoyed tho cuz im keeping my girl and her sisters from doin stuff they need to get done. when my girl is at work i hang out with her sisters and stuff... it's cool and i like it a lot.
her mom told me that the girls need a few days of break time where they can buckle down and get stuff done that they have been putting off. ive literally spent the night there for the past week ya kno. me and my girl have had a lot of in depth talks about ourselves and all that... she needs someone to care for her, and i need to care for someone.. honestly we complete eachother. we've been dating for just over 2 months now. tonight i went over there to watch a movie and hang out for a bit, cuz well i couldnt stay long and i didnt wanna wear my welcome so i showed myself out. before i left tho i sat down my girl tho and had a lil talk with her and held her and stuff... and she told me "i dont mean to freak you out or anything, but i want to spend the rest of my life with you" - -- i just feel down when im not with her, and it sucks to always have to leave and stuff now because i cant be around as much.
i think she really likes me and stuff, and we say i love you and all those whatnots. i dunno where im going with this.. but do you think if you fly to high you're going to fall a lot further? our relationhsip really has skyrocketed and i dont want it to crash and burn. im not scared of commitment and from what ive seen, she isnt either. the problem is that she is 17 (turning 18 in june), and i know girls at that age dont always know what they want... and ive had trouble with girls like that in the past, and have been cut pretty deep.
however, this girl has been hurt in the past too. we've talked about cheating and all that, and she tells me that she will not cheat on me. and she said if i do cheat on her, to just tell her about it, and she will not be mad, and will forgive me. she says it like it's not a big deal for her to be hurt. i told her ill never cheat on her, and i wont.. like, i do mean what i say. i told her that if she cheats on me or wants to ever end what we have, to just tell me, and not play me along... and she said the only way we'd break up is if i dumped her. to be honest, i am scared of being hurt... fear is a weakness, i know, but i am scared shitless of it.
she is a very social and outgoing person, she gives her number out to guys saying they should hang out sometime.. but she's told me before that she loves meeting new people and making friends, so that seems pretty normal. and she always makes it clear that she has a boyfriend and stuff... but things like that do worry me, if she just goes to hang out with a guy just him and her. but at the same time, i hang out with girls all the time and nothing bad happens... do you think i just need to loosen up and have trust in what she's told me? after all people do have friends that they hang out with... it's nothing out of the ordinary.
in fact the other day... i told her im sorry for how i am.. that i get jealous sometimes for no reason at all. when something catches my attention i overlook everything we've said to eachother and stuff, and just focus on what's bothering... and i told her to just remember that i do trust her, and not to hold how i get against me. i dont mean to get upset... i almost think i live to be in pain. if there's nothing to be upset about, i create something to feel bad for. some people live to be abused.... and moments of happiness are few and far between.
i dont know where im going with any of this.. just speaking what's been on my mind all day. i love her, and she loves me. i dont want it to end, and sometimes all i can think about is the end. i need her, she really does complete me... the yin and yang in play. i really hate not being able to be with her.
