Dealing with a pathological liar
Hi everyone! :)
I apologize if this topic had previously been started, if so, feel free to merge threads.
Long story short, I've been going through a really bad break up during the past 5 months.
The thing that makes the whole situation hard to deal with, is that my ex has been showing signs of pathological lying.
At first it felt like he was making up small things to create a better image for himself, but then I realized it was something bigger and it kept getting worse.
During the relationship (15 months), he was a truly amazing person, until we became close enough and our flaws started showing.
It was like he was under constant pressure to impress me. Suddenly, that turned into some sort of superiority. He always felt like he should prove himself better than me. He'd get mad whenever I'd disagree or prove him wrong. It felt like a battlefield. Then he stopped texting and calling, started saying I was seeing him as an incomplete person, always comparing him to other guys, which wasn't even close to true. Then he started flirting with other girls, just to prove he's worth and chased. I forgave him twice, but the third time it went too far and that's where we put an end. Actually, he did, by telling everyone he's single again, and I was the last one to find out (we live in different towns) from mutual friends. Again, the reason was "You don't see me worth it, you don't value me at all, I did that to see if you'd fight for me" etc etc. He, then, simply ignored me for two-three weeks and then moved overseas for a few months. All of a sudden, he contacted me again, saying I was a bad person for not saying goodbye and welcome back home, when in fact I had no absolute idea when he was leaving and coming back home. And seeing him with another girl all over him, was not actually a good way to say "Yes, I want you and it'd mean to me if you did something", so I felt like I'd interrupt and decided to stay away for a while. It's just ridiculous to get mad about such thing.
Even when he'd admit to have made a mistake, it'd be something like "Yes, I admit, but you did this, so I did that", and again, I'm the one to blame.
We're still contacting. I have nothing against being friends with an ex, but it's like he doesn't want to let go, but wants to be chased and begged for forgiveness.
I know for a fact that we both have mixed feelings, but I cannot deal with the fact that he wants me to feel guilty about everything and I want to help him somehow.
It hurts to see him deluded. It's like he wants me to help him, but whenever I'd try to get close and start such thread, he thinks I'm trying to get back with him, so he becomes cold hearted, avoids me, says bad things, hangs up, logs off...anything, just so he doesn't think of his mistakes.
But whenever I'd give up, I am, again ,the bad person for not caring. I feel bad about not getting it from the very beginning...
Sorry for wasting your time. I know that professional help is needed here, but if there's any advice about anything related, I'd be really nice to know.
Thanks in advance.
