Only gotten past a second date, what am I doing wrong? (Prep for my next date?)
I've been on a ton of dates. Most of them were met through online dating websites because most girls "in person" are taken. I live in a small town and the nearest club is north of the boarder in Montreal, Canada. I've been told all my life that I am a wonderful person (by both guys and girls). They continue to say that I'm loyal and I'd make a great boyfriend and any girl would be lucky to have me. I know how to treat a girl, I hardly swear and I am pretty fun to be around.
I remember I use to go on dates and after the date either it was known by both of us that it was a one time deal, it went well but once we met online the next time it was weird and we ran out of things to talk a week or two later and then it fizzles out to nothing or I thought it went well and that person blocks me never to be heard from again.
There has been two out of maybe ten where things have been fine and she wanted to purse more. The first one, well she was just really crazy and called me every 5, 10 minutes and the second was just plain mean. I have always been myself and now I have gone into every date with the assumption it will be the one and only time I'll see her.
The second to last date I went on was back in August went great. We met through my aunt's friend (her aunt and my aunt are co-workers and best friends). I gave my aunt my email and she gave her aunt her email. We went on a date and it went great, chatted, laughed and everything. After the date a week went by and I never heard from her. I told my aunt about my bad track record and my aunt said that she must just be busy. Well, my aunt was right, it took her a week (vs a few days) to respond to an email. A little over a month later we set another date well that one didn't go so well. I was pretty tired from work and we were struggling to come up with things to talk about and even repeated stuff from the first date, it was just odd and that was that. We met in Oct and again much like the others never heard back from her. I felt pretty uncomfortable around her and I couldn't be myself.
This Saturday I have a date with a girl. She is a very nice girl and is friendly and cute. I have high hopes for it but in the back of my mind I am thinking it will be the last time. Do you have any tips to make things go smooth? I honestly, don't know what i am doing wrong.
I guess you don't understand
Hi I am sorry that my post isn't very clear I guess. I don't need advice on what to do on the date. We have it planned out (time, place, what we are going to do etc). I just want advice to prevent "the one date and I'll never see her again trend."
Getting spark going on a date
Quote:
Originally Posted by
leadingedge04
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I've been on a ton of dates. Most of them were met through online dating websites because most girls "in person" are taken. I live in a small town and the nearest club is north of the boarder in Montreal, Canada. I've been told all my life that I am a wonderful person (by both guys and girls). They continue to say that I'm loyal and I'd make a great boyfriend and any girl would be lucky to have me. I know how to treat a girl, I hardly swear and I am pretty fun to be around.
I remember I use to go on dates and after the date either it was known by both of us that it was a one time deal, it went well but once we met online the next time it was weird and we ran out of things to talk a week or two later and then it fizzles out to nothing or I thought it went well and that person blocks me never to be heard from again.
There has been two out of maybe ten where things have been fine and she wanted to purse more. The first one, well she was just really crazy and called me every 5, 10 minutes and the second was just plain mean. I have always been myself and now I have gone into every date with the assumption it will be the one and only time I'll see her.
The second to last date I went on was back in August went great. We met through my aunt's friend (her aunt and my aunt are co-workers and best friends). I gave my aunt my email and she gave her aunt her email. We went on a date and it went great, chatted, laughed and everything. After the date a week went by and I never heard from her. I told my aunt about my bad track record and my aunt said that she must just be busy. Well, my aunt was right, it took her a week (vs a few days) to respond to an email. A little over a month later we set another date well that one didn't go so well. I was pretty tired from work and we were struggling to come up with things to talk about and even repeated stuff from the first date, it was just odd and that was that. We met in Oct and again much like the others never heard back from her. I felt pretty uncomfortable around her and I couldn't be myself.
This Saturday I have a date with a girl. She is a very nice girl and is friendly and cute. I have high hopes for it but in the back of my mind I am thinking it will be the last time. Do you have any tips to make things go smooth? I honestly, don't know what i am doing wrong.
Hey leadingedge04, I have been on a few dates with girls I met online and girls I met in real life, 44 dates to be exact (at least all the ones I have set up in the last 3 months). Many times, I found myself not going on second dates because I didn't connect with the girl.
It's easy for a date to fall into the boring "fact finding" type of conversation. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "What do you do?" "I am a real estate broker" "oh Cool. how is that?"
To break that mode of conversation and develop connection with the girl is a skill. I find that if I am in a relaxed, goofy, playful mood; I can break down the walls faster and have her get to know the real me, rather than just facts about me. People don't connect with each other by knowing about facts of the other person.
Now that I think about it; this is a long topic. Once I have a better understanding of how to go about developing the connection, maybe I will write up an article.
But in the mean time, I would focus on recognizing when the date has gone flat, and change your approaches to the conversation, not necessarily the topic but how you ask and answer questions from her or the details you choose to put into stories that you tell.
Jack