Sexual compatibility = ???

Ok. I’m in my late 50’s and have been out of the dating game for many years, until recently, and a bit naive about things in these modern days-- although I'm learning quite a bit from reading the forums. I keep reading/hearing about sexual compatibility, how a guy and a girl may not be compatible.

I never heard of this back in my youth when dating. It was taken for granted-- guy= penis, girl= vagina, you put the two together and it worked out like a charm!

So! What’s this compatibility stuff all about. (Yes, I have googled it but don’t find very satisfactory explanations.)

In my own inexperienced opinion it means how well they can fulfill your sexual needs. How often do they desire sex? Do they have the same fetishes or do opinions differ? Also, whether their bodies physically work well together (huge penis and small vagina could be an honest problem).

Is that a serious question???????? I am 51, but I know when I am compatible with someone or not. In our age you should because we know our bodies so much better.

When you don't like how your partner is making love to you or he doesn't, that is incompatible. Very simple. When you hear the angels sing, this means compatible, LOL.

Sexual compatibility = when it's good for you and good for her. If either party is frustrated/unhappy then it won't work.
But I suppose it also depends on expectations and so much else.

Thank you for your replies. So, sexual incompatibility could be a deal-breaker even if all else is wonderful in the relationship?

If a guy wants sex 7 days a week, and a girl wants sex only once every 14 days, you will have a major problem there. Frequency and desire play a major role in compatibility. Keep in mind that frequency can change due to illness, hormones, stress, and other factors. So couples must be able to talk about things, when they are not quite normal, so assumptions are not made, and feelings don't get hurt.

The two people should also have the same "level of adventure", i.e. what things/kinks they currently like, and how adventurous they will be in the future with trying new things.

Style is important, and this sort of includes kinks. Some people have a strong desire for adventure, so they are willing to try new things. Some people want the same old vanilla Missionary position every time. So if one likes to tie up t heir partner, but their partner is afraid of being tied up, one partner will not get what they need and may become resentful. This leads to lots of frustration and fights.

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Thank you for your replies. So, sexual incompatibility could be a deal-breaker even if all else is wonderful in the relationship?

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Exactly. Sex is one of the top 3 things couples fight about.


Any questions, PM me. Thanks.

Thanks bulrush. Nope, don't have any questions. I get it now. :)

There are many factors to consider... here are a few:

1. Do you have similar libidos/sex drives? It's frustrating as hell if you're in a relationship with a partner that wants it far less or far more than you do.

2. Do you have similar tastes in sex? Do you like the same things? If not, are you or your partner willing to try new things? If not, is it something you can live without?

3. Do you "do it" for one another? Does your partner turn you on? Do you turn her on?

4. Do you satisfy each other sexually in bed?

Those are basically the high points. One thing - don't rely on guesswork, talk to each other about these things. You'll be amazed at how good your sexual relationship can be with open communication. My poor 21 year old son just got out of the Army and is living with my wife and I (not his mom) and the poor kid has had his eyes opened... and is making use of his headphones a lot, LOL

Oh no, Hahahaha, poor guy!! Thanks for the great pointers, HeartIsAching! :D

No relationship is compatible in every context. There are some who have amazing sexual chemistry but can't have a conversation lasting 5 minutes without awkward silences. Then you may seem to have tons in common when it comes to ideas, goals and beliefs but sex between the two is just mediocre. Sometimes you have to compromise. No relationship is perfect.

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Originally Posted by bcgirl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No relationship is compatible in every context. There are some who have amazing sexual chemistry but can't have a conversation lasting 5 minutes without awkward silences. Then you may seem to have tons in common when it comes to ideas, goals and beliefs but sex between the two is just mediocre. Sometimes you have to compromise. No relationship is perfect.

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Speak for yourself.

perfect relationship is PERFECT. Nothing is perfect except some people may argue God. Perfect = 10/10 in sex every single time along with all other aspects of a relationship.

By now, each person is using their freedom to express their inner desires and fantasies, and to ask their mate to fulfill them. So it is now more important not only to receive, but giving your mate what he/she needs and makes them feel satisfied. Now that there are different clothes, toys, positions, words and fantasies to use with your mate at that special moments (most of that never a couple felt free to even talk about some decades ago) now becomes very important to give and to receive to have a delightful relationship.