she bugs me

hey guys,

i have a problem. i am getting very close to a girl who has been a very good friend of mine for a month about now and helped me a lot after my break up. i really like her but the fact is that even though she cares about me..... i feel that she really doesn tcare about a lot of things.

every evening as we sit in the gardens aimlessly for like hours, she rests her head on my shoulder or i lean on her and we are at peace..... she hasnt had a relationship as yet coz she herself admitted that she doesnt trust anybody . she trusts me beyond every body else but i know so little about her!!!!

also i am muslim and even though she isnt a practising catholic, her family is..... now this doesnt raise an issue but people talk and i dont want people backbiting her...coz no matter what her going out with a muslim will irk some folks........

there were times when i could have said to her and kissed her but i simply didnt because i felt that she wouldnt like it......i just felt it and i would rather keep my emotions in check than make her sad by expressing them to her

she likes me as a friend, there is no doubt about that but i like her more than that.... the problem is that whenevr i try to ask her about her life she simply shuts off and tries to change the topic....

she is very understanding about me and has never till date judged me, but the fact is that she knows howmuch my previous girlfriend meant to me and she has herself told me that she would never be the rebound person of anybody....

so what do i do now? sorry for the long post... :(

also there is the factor of a b!tch who is trying to mess up my trelationship with her but i will leave that for another post.

Hussain

You know what's ironic?

If somebody else posted this exact situation in want of help.

You would've been able to come up with some good suggestions.

But when you're in the hot seat,you can't but feel lost and ignorant.

Or maybe you don't.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Frasbee

You know what's ironic?

If somebody else posted this exact situation in want of help.

You would've been able to come up with some good suggestions.

But when you're in the hot seat,you can't but feel lost and ignorant.

Or maybe you don't.

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The other problems people are having are a bit more superficial than this. Superficial problems are easier to take care of by the people who get "the facts of life"

mhussain,

Do you think she is shutting herself off to attract you more or because she is only interested in the friendship thing? :sad2:

If making a move is something ya want on your agenda, try the contest thing. Like have her do something to win a prize, when she asks what do I win, tell her 1 kiss, modify accordingly.

You sure she trusts you, or is she just saying that? If you know for sure she trusts you why does she trust you over everyone else?

Hussain,

Like someone else said, you should be the one giving advice. Although I know its hard for you to see, because when you're in the situation yourself you get blinded by hopes and dreams.

Anyway cuz, I am not saying everything sounds like my case, but just keep it in mind ok, for all I know, my situation couldve been one in a million and I wish you luck. I dont know how its done, but if you do, dont keep going further until you're her best friend after which ud be rooted.

Religion, if yourself and her are content with your beliefs so be it, as long as your families arent devout to the extent of disowning etc.

Rebound? In order to combat that, make your feelings for her clear, so that she understands that you have new feelings in you for another girl and not just something thats carrying on.

I doubt this has been of any help, but I felt obligated to post here.

Good luck champ.

thanks a lot....guys

yeah maybe hopes and dreams do blind clear thought....

no mate she does trust me.....and when i asked her why she says coz i amthe nicest guy she has met......

do u think i should make my feelings for her clear?

HUssain

i think you should give her a little mur time! she mite be waiting to know for sure that your over your last girlfreind! is there no neutral freind of hers who you could ask to what her feelins are about you? maybe her trust in you is like that of an older sister! maybe she just finds you easy to open up to. i'd find out if she definately feels the same before making a move.

jus my ideas,
good luck

she has no one who according to her she trusts as much as me......and no her trust in me is not of that type.....

unfortunately she trusts no one...... she appears this happy go lucky girl who has lot of friends but as i found out after she confided in me, it is her way of masking the disappointments in her life...also she has never been in a relationship b4, ever.

i dont know what to do....coz i dont want to make her sad,

Hussain

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mhussain

i dont know what to do....coz i dont want to make her sad

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Just remember not to make yourself sad in the process.

I wouldn't spill my guts quite yet, has she done anything to deserve the softer side of you?

without her help, i would have been in dumps still becoz of my previous relationship

Hussain