So confused

I am so confused, maybe its the language barrier or even the gender one. Don't know what to think or what to do.

I met a wonderful girl online from the other side of the world. We did fell in love. Really in love. The problem was that i was married. So we both suffered so much guilt. So i decided to get a divorce. Not an easy step to do even tho my marriage been dead for ages. And during that time me and my online girl had a real roller coaster relationship. Jealousy etc hunted us. But we did hang in. But one day she said she had enough. Could not deal with it anymore. Her life been on hold for such a long time, almost a year. And she described the pain she felt all the time about me being in a relationship and the insecurity. But she says she still loves me, but she feel so bad so she need to move on. The days after she had enough i finally did get the courage to talk to my wife. I needed to take the consequences of my actions. So i am in the process of getting a divorce. I did tell my second woman about me getting a divorce. But then she went even more disappointed/angry at me. She felt it all been a game for me and that i prob never would had a divorce anyway even if she had stayed. Cos it did take her leaving me for me to do it. None of that is true but i do understand her feelings about it.

I did not expect anything atm. But we had our talk. She was at first not sure if she even could have any contact with me at all. She have to move on, get a life. And it would be to hard for her to have to deal with all the emotions about us. There is no goin back she says. She tend to be a lit dramatic at times so i thought it was her upset that made her say that. But we decided to have at least some kind of contact but no talk about real life. But now she says she don't even know if she can handle that. She feels very numb. I don't really know what to think or do. She tells me she never loved anyone so much as me and still do. But still she thinks of cutting all communications. I am confused... What should i think or do?