ok so my cousin says that i'm a softy lol... and maybe she is right ...i guess sometimes you can't be too nice...when you are too nice ppl can take advantage of you...what do you think?
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ok so my cousin says that i'm a softy lol... and maybe she is right ...i guess sometimes you can't be too nice...when you are too nice ppl can take advantage of you...what do you think?
I think it's better to be assertive at times because sometimes that's the only way things are going to get taken care of. I'm very soft too but I do assert myself when it's necessary.
any day of the week.. i'd rather date a softy than a bitch.
raverboy
A bitch is someone who goes out of their way to anger people. Someone who is assertive is motivated to accomplish their goals/tasks. Whereas a bitch is always unpleasant, an assertive person can be kind, courteous, but still adamant about doing what needs to be done.
I would recommend you be assertive and not a bitch. We have enough "bitches" in the world... don't need to add to it.
Depends what sort of a guy you want.
Being soft, not only will you attract guys who actually like NICE girls, but you're being yourself.
If some guy takes you for granted because of your 'softness', that's not about you, that's about him being a prick, in which case you know to move on.
Im finding my new found bitchdom is better than my 'too nice' real me.
I tend to be a pushover but its no good because eventually there's a breaking point and don't no one want to be around to see that shit.
Guys don't like bitches.
It's about finding a happy medium. Don't be a push-over, but be willing to compromise. Don't be a bitch, but stand your ground calmly when you have to.
No man likes to be treated like a child. Even if he acts like one the best thing you can do is approach it like an adult. No screaming, or berating, or belittling. I work in retail at the moment and so many women embarrass their men in public by being bitchy and don't even realize it. Just snapping at them when they ask questions they find to be stupid, or arguing over money.
I never want to be a bitch, but I will not be a pushover. I will calmly argue my own point, and if I don't make any headway, I'll leave the issue and come back to it. No point in losing my self-control and composure over an issue that might not matter in 24 hours.
I can be very accommodating until we come up against something that's very important to me. In those cases, I will NOT back down. It doesn't mean I turn into a nasty, hateful person, but there's no way you would call me a "softy".
I was a lot softer until I was married for ten years to an aimless drunk. I am all out of fluffy tolerance for somebody's bullshit.
So, long story short, for me, being a softy is the road to unhappiness. Given the choice, I'll be a bitch any day.
Bitches can't keep a man. Assertive is the way to go. Even a little fiesty! Guys like that. People will have a lot more respect for you. Every now and then a bitch will come along and try to test you... but you'll squash that. :)
You can only be yourself. Can't change bitchiness or softness, only pretend to be different which will bite you in the end. Just find someone who plays off your personality well.
^ Of course a person can change those two 'attributes.' The "bitchiness" may be more ingrained into the personality though.
That's true. But still it's better to be nice to start off with regardless of what people say. Though at the same time use your intuition. If you feel people start using you adjust your behavior accordingly. If you don't people assume you don't have a backbone and then it's very difficult to get out of that cycle.Quote:
Originally Posted by cake85 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I usually start off nice. If people take advantage of that I'm still accommodating, but I give out warnings. If people persist being unreasonable I crush them and then there's suddenly a lot of respect. It's unfortunate that it has to be like that sometimes.