Why can't i get a second date . met online . 20/40 yr old. single/married

Hello, hopefully i can gets some helpful answers from ppl who have maybe been in a similar situation . so here goes..

I am a 40 yr old male been married 22 yrs , i met a girl (20 yrs old ) "online" about 9 months ago , at first we were just friends talking , she has had a lot of family drama and abuse in her life from about 7 yrs old to about 16 (according to her ) so i always told her id be there for her if she needed anything and that i genuinely cared for her , she would say older guys turned her on and personality is key for her and age didnt matter , she lives approx 200 miles from where i am , we talked about meeting 5 months later and it took an actual 3 more months to finally meet (8th month) , when i asked her if she only wanted sex from me she said , no . so we meet , she didnt want to go anywhere where someone she knew would see us ( for obvious reasons ) so i suggested a hotel and she said perfect so we could talk and " hang out" , i already knew what she liked sexually so i started with spanking and went to oral and then sex, which didnt last long do to my nerves etc, ( new partner , pressure , etc ) so i made up for it by giving her very good oral sex , for about 25 mins straight , (one of my specialties lol) which when i asked her how was it on a scale of 1 to 10 she said a 9 , only cause no ones perfect . i asked her if we could get together again and she said it would depend on when . i didn't press the issue . i dropped her off and that was that . she always told me that she liked hard rough pounding sex for as long as she can get it , which obviously did not happen with us , i thought i made up for it with the mind blowing oral , but as a man u can imagine i was disappointed it didnt happen the way i wanted it to for her.

So we have been talking for about a month now after that day , I told her i would like to get to know her better , i have been asking her if we can get together again , she never says no , and only once did she say " yea" but for the most part if i ask about us or what she thought of that day , nada , said she would talk about it but never does , now keep in mind ive done alot for her , and trust doesnt come easy with her and now she trusted me enough to tell me her past etc when we met that day, so after trying everything i can to let her know how i feel and what i want now, that i know shes young and wants to have fun ( so do i ) we can be friends/ **** buddies or whatever , i still got no response , the only thing i got one night when i asked her if she would like to go to an event in her town she wanted to go to , she said " no, thats too expensive, id rather sit in your truck and talk" , and then the night after that out of the blue " I should be your wife , jk " and " you can't go to bed without me " , so im thinking she wants to see me again right ? i told her all shes gotta do is tell me when and i will be there and we can do whatever she wants because i just want to spend time with her, so after a week later she hasnt said anything so i started to keep my distance on the texts and getting online with her , and now she started asking me what im doin and contacting ME more , which i hear is like this dating "game" the young ppl do now, she never lets me go , but wont move forward either ,

So here is my dilemma .... i know she cares that is obvious to me , options?

should i just be more and more distant , busy with work etc ? OR
is she scared to commit because im married and she thinks she will get hurt ? OR
is it just a case of i got what i wanted and im done with you (after 8 months talking) , OR
i dont wanna go out again because she didnt get what she wanted sexually ? OR
Does she just need time to think ?


What would you suggest i do from this point on ? thanks.

you are a nasty dirty jerk freak old bastard.

what can a young pussy do for you? other then be **** .

you have so much baggage and she is just entering the real world.
you will stand in her way to grow in her own time.

i think you just want to prove to yourself or to your ex wife or the world that
you can get a younger one.

grow up. she can be your kid. are you that ****ed up?!!!

and when you barely know a person and especially on the internet, you cant talk about caring for the person.
caring comes while spending real time and experience each together. so i think you just want some of her
kitty cat and act like you are interested in her pain.
and she sounds naive and stupid and lonely for sharing such a story of her life with you.


you are a real creepy nasty old mtf. for coming in her talking about the sex you did with her in all most your whole topic.
you need to leave this girl alone.
she need to get help for her pain and stop staying in the situations her pain gets her.
and that is sex with older creepy old mtf!

Far as the age difference thing , its not uncommon, the sex talk was about 1/5 of my post , i didn't choose to fall for this girl or her age , it just happened, i fell for her and who she is ( we cammed all the time ) again it took 5 months before i even decided to meet , not a hit it and quit it senerio i can tell u , and it was her all along who focused on the sex talk etc , ( i didnt want to post a book about every detail of our lives ) i always wanted to get to know her first, and thats what i thought was going to happen when we met as well , and i know i should have had the power to say no , so yeah such as life, i told her since that day i would like to remain friends and still see her to get to know her and go out and do things ( no sex) , she took that as an offense , cause i really did/do want to help her if i could, she really does need help, but she wont get it , i dont want to prove anything , and true u cant really "care" for someone till you know them , hence why when she said im always there for her, i was hoping i could help her , i totally see how the sex ***ed everything up , if i would have denied her she would have been hurt too , its just the way she thinks she has to "be" with a man , to have sex with them , and why the heck am i "old" ? i look early thirties man , dam . sorry if i offended anyone , : ( oh and this is the first time i have been with someone else in those 22 yrs so again not like i did this to "prove to the world"