First love..

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18-03-12, 03:10 AM
inflorescence

First love..

Just the thought of this man makes me weak in the knees...

I met him one summer while camping, a friend of mine her family was friends with their family... the moment I met him we locked eyes and my heart fluttered. Turned out he felt the same.. we were young in our early-midteens and spent most of the two weeks together with all of our friends. We gazed up at the stars at night and discussed our dreams and life... we only ever kissed or held hands... but the first time we held hands it was magic... and kissed, whew I can't even tell you. We have very similar values and I have never been as attracted to anyone as I am him. Unfortunately he lived several hours away from the town I lived in so we tried to date but at that age its very difficult not having a car and public transport was not really an option. We sent letters and parcels to each other.. but we ended up breaking up because the distance just didnt work out. Years went by and we would meet up whenever he was in town the feelings between us were undeniable. Despite not being in a relationship one holiday he drove all the way to my house without me knowing to give my mom a present to put under the tree... on Christmas day it was the last present to open as it was hiding.... I opened it at it was a handwritten poem confessing his love for me (We had known each other for 5 years at this point, there was a beautiful necklace and he asked me to his prom...) I immediately called him and said yes of course. Unfortunately months later I was young and stupid and made a teenager mistake and my mom punished me in the worst way possible, I was no longer allowed to go to his prom... I think I broke his heart...
More time went buy and I went to the other side of the country to go to university and he went to one close to the town I grew up in.. we met up in college... still the feelings were there but for some dumb reason I hooked up with one of his FRIENDS?! Idiot I know on my part...

Fast forward to now, 4 years since graduating from university. We have both dated many people, traveled the world and have ended up in another province from where we both grew up... turns out he's living in the same city as my sister.... While visiting her he messaged me on facebook and we decided to meet up... we spent almost every day together when I was in the city, he is drop dead gorgeous and the feelings are still there... but yet we didn't even kiss. (We saw each other for almost a week straight staying up until 2am non stop talking)....
I live 4 hours away from him and I haven't seen him since we saw each other every day for a week in December, we chat frequently and he has hinted that we should get together (there's been some steamy text messages), but nothing has happened... He was even in my city a month ago and didn't call me to meet up.... which I don't understand.
He wants me to come up for a weekend. I've suggested that I am interested but yet he hasn't made it clear what he wants...

If I go visit him like he suggested does he expect sex? Or is he looking for a relationship? Even though we are not dating and have gone years without talking if I was to sleep with him would that make me look easy?
I must admit I want to see how he is in bed, cause to me the feeling between us has always been magic and I think he would be the best I ever had (at least in my mind I've imagined it)... haha...
18-03-12, 03:17 AM
surfhb

Many guys are turned off if you gave it up right away....I would be
18-03-12, 03:48 AM
inflorescence

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Many guys are turned off if you gave it up right away....I would be

Thanks!
You still think that even though we have known each other for 12 years at this point? How should I play this then? If I was to go visit him for a weekend I know I would want to... but I would potentially want a relationship and not turn him off..
18-03-12, 07:32 AM
chasesummer

Treat it the way you both did when you spent the week together constantly talking and catching up until 2am. It seems like you both have the right outlook on it. With the history you have, i would think things may move a little faster than a straight up new relationship but don't make it like that's the first priority. Remember what you did with his friend, you need to prove to him that is not the type of person you are. (unless it is the type of person you are, in which case don't lie to him.)
18-03-12, 07:51 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by inflorescence [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If I go visit him like he suggested does he expect sex? Or is he looking for a relationship? Even though we are not dating and have gone years without talking if I was to sleep with him would that make me look easy?
I must admit I want to see how he is in bed, cause to me the feeling between us has always been magic and I think he would be the best I ever had (at least in my mind I've imagined it)... haha...

Quote:

Originally Posted by inflorescence [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He wants me to come up for a weekend. I've suggested that I am interested but yet he hasn't made it clear what he wants...

The fact he asked you to visit makes it very clear what he wants. He wants to see you, and perhaps sleep with you. You've known each other too long to play coy (I think). If you want to sleep w/him, do so. But only if you can keep your other expectations in control. Because this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by inflorescence [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He was even in my city a month ago and didn't call me to meet up.... which I don't understand.

Says he isn't as invested in you as you seem to be him. Its possible that he was just really busy but, and this is just my own experience, a guy who is *really* into you will make the time to meet up, even if its just a short visit, dinner or drink at the airport.

I'm not saying he won't become more interested, but be careful you don't over-invest yourself at this point. Great SN, btw. Plant biologist?
18-03-12, 02:34 PM
Lynnie

I'm new to this forum so I don't know if I'm posting correctly!
Im in a bad situation. My boyfriend has a bad habit of promising to call and then doesn't.. We were also fighting too much and it got to the stage that he hid an overseas trip from me till the last minute thinking I was going to get mad (which I did)! He also refused to let me stay over one night when his daughter was there, stating he needed alone time with
her. When he was overseas, he promised to ring but there was none. No caring xx texts too. His texts were just telling
Me about what he was doing, none asking how I was.
I made the decision to have time to think which I told him. His reply was he agreed we both need time out and he
thinks it's stressful the fights. I asked him what time out was- was it time to think or a total break. No answer
I need to ask all of you whether I am too much of a girlfriend and asking too much from him??? Does time out mean a
Breakup? I just need to know to move on I'm feeling miserable
19-03-12, 03:45 AM
haxan

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Says he isn't as invested in you as you seem to be him. Its possible that he was just really busy but, and this is just my own experience, a guy who is *really* into you will make the time to meet up, even if its just a short visit, dinner or drink at the airport.

I'm not saying he won't become more interested, but be careful you don't over-invest yourself at this point

This is on-point right here, inflorescence.
19-03-12, 04:49 AM
inflorescence

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The fact he asked you to visit makes it very clear what he wants. He wants to see you, and perhaps sleep with you. You've known each other too long to play coy (I think). If you want to sleep w/him, do so. But only if you can keep your other expectations in control. Because this:

Says he isn't as invested in you as you seem to be him. Its possible that he was just really busy but, and this is just my own experience, a guy who is *really* into you will make the time to meet up, even if its just a short visit, dinner or drink at the airport.

I'm not saying he won't become more interested, but be careful you don't over-invest yourself at this point. Great SN, btw. Plant biologist?

First of all thanks for the advice.

The last few days we have been chatting quite a bit. I asked him why he didnt stop by when he was in my city and he said he arrived near midnight and his flight was 4am, I think that is a reasonable reason... So I excepted his excuse. He also apologized and said work was really busy, that he would make time for me because he is interested. He called me yesterday afternoon saying that he would love to come visit me and he was about to jump into his car if I gave him the green light to come. Unfortunately I had to tell him I couldnt because I have a huge exam on Tuesday that I needed to study for.... BRUTAL timing. I definitely do want to see where this goes so I have suggested visiting two weekends from now.. he said he was excited.. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Great SN, btw. Plant biologist?

Thank you I thought it was unique. You're pretty close on the guess! I am a Biology major, more focus on genetics and cell biology but I have studied a few plants through the years :)