Boyfriend started acting quiet and a little distant

Printable View

28-04-17, 12:06 AM
lm0905

Boyfriend started acting quiet and a little distant

My boyfriend and I have been getting along great for the past couple of months (no arguments or fighting). We just went on a trip this past weekend and things went amazing. I really felt like we had a great time together. We've talked about potentially moving out of our current city into a different state just a couple of days ago... Which is why I am very confused.

I originally asked him Tuesday if I could come over after work and he said that he was gonna hang out with his best friend that he hasn't seen since we left for our trip. Ok no problem, I'll see him another day.
A couple of hours later, my boyfriend texts me and asks me to come over.. Sure, I had nothing better to do. When I came in, I noticed he was slightly off but nothing to worry about. I asked him why he wasn't gonna hang out with his best friend and he said "I didn't really feel like it"... Strange because they haven't seen in each other in 5/6 days and my boyfriend usually seems his best friend right after a trip.

So the evening goes on and I noticed a switch in my boyfriend... He's quiet, not very talkative and just odd.
I tell him I'm gonna go cause I notice he probably wants to be alone. Before I left, he said "I'm not mad at you, I just want to be alone". I then told him that I'll leave him alone until he decides he wants to talk.
Yesterday, I didn't hear from him at all until 10 PM when he texts me "Not mad, just need some time to think. Thanks for not texting me today. Talk to you later".... Uh???

So the first thing I think of is "great, he's gonna break up with me" because what else am I supposed to think when my boyfriend tells me that he needs time to think.

We are supposed to go to dinner with my grandma on saturday, we are going on an out of the country trip next weekend and have a big Europe trip planned for this summer.

I just don't understand what happened and am very confused. Every other month or so, he goes through these weird mood changes where he's super quiet, wants to be left alone, and doesn't have much to say.
I know he's not cheating, I don't think it's anything like that. But do you think that it has something to do with me or is it something else going on with him in his life?

I'm just worried.
28-04-17, 01:48 AM
melancholia

Has anything significant changed in his life recently? If not, do you think he could be bored or feel complacent in his life and maybe feels some anxiety about that. Maybe he's struggling at work, or bored at work, or maybe he's just feeling down about life right now. A good sign is that he is communicating with you, even through his down spells. He's let you know he's not mad but needs some alone time to reflect. I don't think that should alarm you. It sounds like this is becoming a pattern, since you say it happens about once a month. Have you tried talking to him about how he's feeling or what he's thinking? If he's reluctant to talk to you about what's going on, try not to probe him; but let him know you are there for him when he's ready and that you will do whatever you can to make life easier for him. Nobody on this forum is going to know what your boyfriend is thinking, so you'll have to initiate a conversation with him to get to the bottom of it.

Good luck!
28-04-17, 04:25 AM
lm0905

Quote:

Originally Posted by melancholia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Has anything significant changed in his life recently? If not, do you think he could be bored or feel complacent in his life and maybe feels some anxiety about that. Maybe he's struggling at work, or bored at work, or maybe he's just feeling down about life right now. A good sign is that he is communicating with you, even through his down spells. He's let you know he's not mad but needs some alone time to reflect. I don't think that should alarm you. It sounds like this is becoming a pattern, since you say it happens about once a month. Have you tried talking to him about how he's feeling or what he's thinking? If he's reluctant to talk to you about what's going on, try not to probe him; but let him know you are there for him when he's ready and that you will do whatever you can to make life easier for him. Nobody on this forum is going to know what your boyfriend is thinking, so you'll have to initiate a conversation with him to get to the bottom of it.

Good luck!

Yeah I'll definitely ask him if he's ok once he is in the mood to start talking. I know he told me that he's not mad and it's not me.. And he's not one to sugar coat how he is really feeling... But I can't help but think that this time is somehow different... Like maybe he is talking about our relationship and thinking about breaking up.

Like him and I dated originally June 2011 - March 2013 (we were 19 and 22 at the end) and the entire month before the break up, he was cold and distant and I knew it was coming... As opposed to us just coming back from an amazing trip and talking about going back to that destination together his coming Summer... To literally the day after and him being off and in his weird mood.

Idk why I feel like this is different and it is not going to end well for me.

I realize me talking and thinking negatively about this is not helping my anxiety, but I can't help but worry.