Missing passion but still attracted
Hi Ladies,
I'd really appreciate some advice on a problem my girlfriend and I are having.
Some quick facts - I'm 22 and she is 18 and it's our first relationship. We've known each other since the start of February and got together at the start of April.
When things started, we really liked each and it was easy to tell the passion was definitely there from the way we kissed each other. We even used the magic four letter L word. Things were moving really fast, but neither of us were complaining. We even planned and booked a 3 day weekend getaway together, which we've just returned from - but more on that later.
Unfortunately, at the end of April, I had a four week overseas holiday prebooked before I met her, so I had no choice but to go and it was impossible for her to come with me (even though she wanted to). While I was away, we sent long emails to each other on a near daily basis, but towards the halfway mark of the holiday, she dropped the emails down to one liners every second or third day. I came back and things were fine, but it hasn't been quite the same.
We've just come back from our 3 day weekend away together and on the most part, it was great but I could feel something was not right. She said she wasnt ready to have her breast touched or have sex, which I am okay with given her age. However, every time I've kissed her, she barely moves and just lets me kiss her. She also rarely initiated a kiss.
It's obvious something isn't right, and it came out tonight after we got back from our weekend away. She said that she's missing the passion, the flame, or the spark she once had for me, but still likes me very much. She said that she found it difficult when I was away for four weeks and the flame disappeared during that time, which explains the sudden drop in email contact. She said she really wanted to write long emails to me and she had regularly typed it all out but deleted it without sending it to me. She said that after she stopped writing emails, she was able to go back to her normal daily life and it got the point that she would only think of once a day, instead of all the time.
She said she wants to find that flame, but doesn't know where or how to look. She doesn't want to end things, but thinks that passion/flame is too important and being attracted to me simply isnt enough. She knows I'm really into her and thinks its unfair that I like her a lot more than she likes me.
What can I do here? I don't want to lose her but it feels like she's slipping away. It's probably naive to think I should leave things be and hope she finds the flame herself, so are there any suggestions on what I should do? Is this relationship doomed?
Another thing, she has a male friend that is 17 she's known for a year and they talk about literally everything, so it comes as no surprise she tells him everything about us. He calls her all the time and they spend an hour talking (but she hangs up on him straight away when I call) and is always curious what we do. He even called her during our weekend away, knowing full well we were away. As soon as she got back, he asked her if we did anything and then brought up this whole passion/flame topic because she had told him about it when I was away.
Am I being sensitive, or should I be worried about this guy? What really gets is that they talk about sex in general and even knows roughly when her periods are!
