Serious questions about sex

Ok lades I need some input, I'm 37, my beautiful wife and I have been married almost 14 years. We have 3 kiD's age 10, 8 and 2. Life is busy, she has a full time job, I am self emoyed. Although I'm not super busy I am currently building our home as we rent for now. I recently became self employed after quitting a job that had me worming long hours and keeping me from my family. My wofe loves working and is working more hours now so we can spend more time as a family. I'm home more, she works more but still not more than 40hr weeks. I was doing 60hrs a week minimum. I do a lot arpund the house, help with kids, get them off to school, laundry, cooking cleaning. And building a house.

I struggle with insecurity, I have for a while. It's not a HUGE issue but affects our love life. I have a hard time "lasting" in bed. This is super embarrassing but something I have to adress. I belive it stems from my past. I am a recovering/recovered sex addict. About six years ago my marriage almost ended because of it. She stayed and we worked past it. I came out of it but I still feel as though I have damaged myself because of who I was....I wasn't ever physically with anyone else while we were married. But I struggled with Internet pornography immensly...among other things. Before I gave up my addiction I could last for as long as I wanted basically. Now it's hard to last more than 5 minutes. Sometimes less sometimes more but she doesn't always get to finish. She says it doesn't bother her, she says there is so much more to sex than an orgasm for her. I agree...but I have this mindset that my sexual performance is directly related to my abilities as a man. In many areas...she isn't super sexual. She hardly ever initiates and hardly very enthusiastic about it at. That being said she never turns me down. There isn't much she won't do or won't let me do. She also isn't satisfied with the way she looks, after 3 kids her body has changed since we met but I couldn't care less. I love her exactly the way she is and wouldn't care if she never changed. She also never really expresses physical desire for me and hardly tells me I look good. I've expressedy need for it but nothing g really changes. She says she doesn't k ow what I want from her...I've expressed my extreme desire to feel that she desire me as much as I do her. I love her, don't ever want to be with or look at another naked woman as long as I live. She knows this, she trusts me...with my interactions with other woman and how I see other women. Is her beavior normal, are all/most women less likely to initiate. Is my insecurity justified by my performance. Is it all in my head? Are women just not interested in initiating sex...when she doesn't have an orgasm I get mad...I've offered to service her in other ways but she always tell me not to worry about it. Sex is incredible for both of us when I can get our of my head. Forget about being hood enough amd just enjoy it but those times are few and far between.

Any input??