What if you are still a virgin? (male)

but you are in your early 20's?

just because of circumstances (moving around a lot, health problem) you never "got round" to having sex.

obviously you don't go screaming that fact from the rooftops, but it has got to the point now where i am scared to get close to anyone, because i feel like it's some terrible secret that i will be exposed as a virgin.

it becomes a vicious circle, and is hindering my lovelife to no end.

I just feel like hiring a prostitute and getting it out of the way, but i don't really want to do that.


how would a female see this situation, say i get close to a woman, should i tell them straight up?

As a male, I don't think it's a big deal. And I don't think it is going to be for women. You should not let it bother you. Just go out there and be happy and be yourself :)

Yea a woman will understand...be honest with her...I mean don't walk around with a shirt that says "take my v-card" but if you find a woman you really like and it starts to get to that point...then tell her....tell her to have some patience with you and give you some direction.

It sounds like you have legitimate reasons for it.

Don't rush it, if you find a great woman it will happen...and don't women won't think less of you for it....everybody has a first time.

Oh and don't go see a prostitute...I'm telling you it is a lot better when the person you are with is into it and has feelings for you and you have feelings for you...I mean I'm not sayin it doesn't feel good to have meaningless sex with a stranger but find someone you connect with mentally and emotionally then when you come together physically it is hard to feel closer to another person.

Coming from a guy here, but statistically 1-in-5 guys are virgins at 20 (compared to 1-in-4 girls). It is nothing to be ashamed of, and most ladies in their early-to-mid twenties understand that. You don't want to flaunt it, but it isn't some horrible secret to hide.

Any good lady your age will understand, and will be patient. Follow her cues and make good use of your hands and mouth. You won't last long once you're in the first few times, so make the foreplay count and she'll be more than satisfied =)

And STAY AWAY from the prostitute. You will regret that for many, many years.

Also your new here and probably don't want to make it a habit of posting the same or similar threads repeatedly...like in the ask a female and intimate pages....its kinda annoying on any forum...it'd just be to cluttered if everybody did that.

Women will be disgusted by the fact that you have been with a prostitute, not because you are a virgin. If you stop putting so much emphasis on it, it will stop becoming such a big issue.

Am sure nobody is going to hold it against you, in fact they will probably think more highly of you as aren't one of them jack-the-lad types who go putting it about. The girl you finally lose your virginity to will probably be most flattered really.

I agree with Jas.
(it's becoming a pattern..)

Sure there are women out there who would count that against you.. but screw them- any sane woman wont hold that against you. She might even be flattered and enjoy being the one who gets to 'educate' you! If memory serves, I dated a 22 year old virgin. We didn't get to have sex for various entirely unrelated reasons but I thought it was really sweet and I got a bit of a kick out of the fact that I was the more experienced one for once. It's not every day that you get to go down on a guy for his first time ever, it's kinda empowering. So you really don't have anything to worry about.

so yeah, don't go with the prostitute. Just be honest with whatever girl you end up getting in a relationship with that gets to that point. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem, not yours.

Personally I think it is a very attractive quality in a guy to be a virgin. Both my boyfriend and I are virgins and in our early 20's. We're waiting for the right time-not necessarily marriage, just the right time when we're both comfortable. I think society makes guys think they need to screw as many girls as they can by like 18 (and beyond) rather than saying it's better to make love to girls you really love and care about.

Like posters before me have said, I'm sure you wouldn't want to lose your virginity to a prostitute...I'd MUCH rather be with a virgin than a guy who paid for sex and could have contracted goodness knows what.

You don't need to "tell a potential g/f straight up" per se- that shouldn't be the first thing you guys discuss anyway. But I mean don't lie about it when the time comes to discuss it. Everything will be fine if you two really care about each other :)

Yep, I went for the prostitute. As a result I'm just as lonely as before, except now I know I'm a great sexual partner. And I still consider myself a virgin because condoms suck ass.

Dont go for the prostitute. Cos its a one time thing and then the second girl u have sex with will probably notice your inexperience and think that u might be a virgin anyway, or just not good in bed, which is way worse than them knowing u r a virgin. Just keep it to yourself until the moment presents itself, then tell the girl and she will probably feel special to be the first. Definately tell the girl is the main thing u should remember.. n its nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Girls look at sex differently to guys, while a guy might laugh at u, the majority of girls wouldnt. Most girls would probably think its nice theres a guy out there not trying to bang everything in sight.. way more of a turn off than a virgin.

There are plenty of men and women out there who are in their 20s and still virgins. It's not a big deal, in my opinion. Not unless you make it one.