Affair with a married man.... what should I do?
I am in desperate need of some balanced and impartial advice....
I work with a married man who is roughly ten years older than me (I am in my thirties and he is in his forties). When I say I work with him, we work in the same office no more than four or five days a month. He is married and lives four hours away from me, and stays locally whenever he is working in the area. We have always liked one another and get on incredibly well as both colleagues and as friends.
Recently he joined me on a night out with some of my friends outside of work. To cut a long story short, after a few glasses of wine too many, we ended up spending the night together. I have always found him attractive, and enjoy being in his company, but never imagined that we would end up in such a situation. The following morning, he asked me if I wanted to make this a regular thing when he is staying locally - I didn't commit one way or the other, saying that he really ought to think long and hard about things before embarking on an affair and the impact it could have at home. After all, a one-night-stand can be put down to the effects of alcohol and easily forgotten in the circumstances.
The thing is, and I am shocked with myself for saying this, I'm not entirely against the idea.
I'm not interested in a full blown relationship (I split up with my ex nearly three years ago, and am still having to house-share with him thanks to the joys of negative equity) and have been enjoying being on my own but have missed the physical intimacy of being in a relationship. Based on my own personal circumstances, in many ways an affair seems ideal. From his perspective, having an affair so far away from home does, I suppose, minimise the risk of his wife finding out about his indiscretion.
But, then again, perhaps I am just trying to justify it in my own mind. And this, my friends, is why I am asking for your advice.
I have not, at any time, discussed his marriage with him - I rarely ask personal questions of people as I prefer to work on the basis that people will tell me what they want me to know!
Should I be selfish and start an affair with him, or should I listen to that sensible voice in my head that is telling me not to be a fool?! I'm pretty sure I already know the answer, but just need to hear it from somebody impartial....