casual hookup, or something more?

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18-09-11, 08:02 AM
jennifer.c

casual hookup, or something more?

First off, I'm 19 and I just got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago.

Since then, I met this guy two separate times at different parties and we got on well but didn't talk too extensively and I didn't think anything of it. The second time we met we exchanged numbers. Turns out we go to the same college, so we've met up on campus briefly a few times before class since then.

Anyway, a week ago we were at school, but due to a power outage our classes were canceled so we ended up hanging out all evening instead. We hit it off really well, had a really fun time driving around town checking everything out and hanging out at various places. We ended up back at his house for a while, where he told me he realized he sort of had a crush on me, and asked me what I thought of that. I told him about how I'd just ended a relationship and wasn't sure if I was ready for another, and he said he was more or less in the same boat. We continued to hang out like normal for a few more hours without anything happening, but at the end of the night before I left he kissed me. I made it clear I wasn't sure I was ready to get involved with anyone yet, but I did like him, so we agreed to just "play it by ear". He said he felt very comfortable around me and I agreed.

We hung out the next day for a short time, and late the night after that he invited me over because we were both awake (we both have weird sleeping patterns). We talked for a bit and then ended up hooking up. I didn't stay the night, but I did stay a little while longer. Not a whole lot was said really before I left.

That was a week ago (Saturday), and since then I haven't heard much from him. I did see him at school the following Tuesday and we talked for about 10 minutes, and it wasn't awkward at all but we didn't mention the other night or our situation or anything. That was the last time I talked to him; the next day he left to go out of state for a week, and I haven't gotten a call or text from him since.

I'm not freaking out about him not calling me or anything, because I'm not entirely sure where this is going or even where I want it to go, but I do like him and I'm just wondering what this means. I suppose ideally I'd like this to turn into something more, because I have a lot of fun with him and I think we have a connection, but I don't know what will happen. I've never been in this "casual hook-up" situation before; he's only the 2nd guy I've ever been with, the first being my ex whom I was in a long-term relationship with. I don't really know how this stuff works. If he really had feelings for me, would he have contacted me by now? Do you think maybe he's lost interest now that we've gone that far, or maybe he was really only in it for that in the first place so now he isn't gonna bother since he got what he wanted?

I really didn't intend to hook up with him, at least not before any sort of relationship was established, so I'm sort of worried it was a mistake, like maybe this will ruin things or make things awkward or make him not respect me. I just wanna know what he's thinking, if the fact that he hasn't contacted me means it's over or what. How should I proceed? I'm not really sure what to think about it all. Any insight would be appreciated!
18-09-11, 08:42 AM
mwahahaha

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer.c [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

First off, I'm 19 and I just got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago.

Since then, I met this guy two separate times at different parties and we got on well but didn't talk too extensively and I didn't think anything of it. The second time we met we exchanged numbers. Turns out we go to the same college, so we've met up on campus briefly a few times before class since then.

Anyway, a week ago we were at school, but due to a power outage our classes were canceled so we ended up hanging out all evening instead. We hit it off really well, had a really fun time driving around town checking everything out and hanging out at various places. We ended up back at his house for a while, where he told me he realized he sort of had a crush on me, and asked me what I thought of that. I told him about how I'd just ended a relationship and wasn't sure if I was ready for another, and he said he was more or less in the same boat. We continued to hang out like normal for a few more hours without anything happening, but at the end of the night before I left he kissed me. I made it clear I wasn't sure I was ready to get involved with anyone yet, but I did like him, so we agreed to just "play it by ear". He said he felt very comfortable around me and I agreed.

We hung out the next day for a short time, and late the night after that he invited me over because we were both awake (we both have weird sleeping patterns). We talked for a bit and then ended up hooking up. I didn't stay the night, but I did stay a little while longer. Not a whole lot was said really before I left.

That was a week ago (Saturday), and since then I haven't heard much from him. I did see him at school the following Tuesday and we talked for about 10 minutes, and it wasn't awkward at all but we didn't mention the other night or our situation or anything. That was the last time I talked to him; the next day he left to go out of state for a week, and I haven't gotten a call or text from him since.

I'm not freaking out about him not calling me or anything, because I'm not entirely sure where this is going or even where I want it to go, but I do like him and I'm just wondering what this means. I suppose ideally I'd like this to turn into something more, because I have a lot of fun with him and I think we have a connection, but I don't know what will happen. I've never been in this "casual hook-up" situation before; he's only the 2nd guy I've ever been with, the first being my ex whom I was in a long-term relationship with. I don't really know how this stuff works. If he really had feelings for me, would he have contacted me by now? Do you think maybe he's lost interest now that we've gone that far, or maybe he was really only in it for that in the first place so now he isn't gonna bother since he got what he wanted?

I really didn't intend to hook up with him, at least not before any sort of relationship was established, so I'm sort of worried it was a mistake, like maybe this will ruin things or make things awkward or make him not respect me. I just wanna know what he's thinking, if the fact that he hasn't contacted me means it's over or what. How should I proceed? I'm not really sure what to think about it all. Any insight would be appreciated!

From the little that i bothered to read, your"friend" sonds like a tit. You put it on plate and his arse collapses, just like tiger after he totalled his ride and ruined his mariage, Sad to see someone going down the same road as the greatest ever golfer to have graced Augusta. Forget this probably gay , no cahoonies willy boy and find yourself a real man,(not tiger, hes a changed man).
19-09-11, 10:37 AM
jennifer.c

Quote:

Originally Posted by mwahahaha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

From the little that i bothered to read, your"friend" sonds like a tit. You put it on plate and his arse collapses, just like tiger after he totalled his ride and ruined his mariage, Sad to see someone going down the same road as the greatest ever golfer to have graced Augusta. Forget this probably gay , no cahoonies willy boy and find yourself a real man,(not tiger, hes a changed man).

Thank you for the reply. I don't think his not calling me is chalked up to being afraid or mental collapse or anything, though.
19-09-11, 10:54 AM
Wakeup

Why are you worrying about this guy and what he's thinking and where this is going, and, and, and? You don't want a relationship right now anyway because you just became free. Now is your chance to experience life as single gal. Chalk it up as a fling and quit worrying whether or not he's now judging you. If he judges you for doing the same thing he did then like Mwaahah said, he's a twit.

Consider it a fling and if he calls you again don't be so quick to jump into bed with him because if you DO want a relationship, I don't think it's gonna be with him. If he wanted to be with you in some kind of committed relationship I think he would have called you by now and would be wanting to see you again and talk to you and be showing you how much he valued you.

If you want to just hook up again though all you'd have to do is say "lets get together tonight" and I'm sure he'd oblige... just don't expect a relationship from him.