So, I am moving to another city--mentioned that before here. A good job. The housing situation has been disappointing, but things may look up eventually.
The hardest part is moving and knowing that while my family will eventually follow me to my new town, that it might be their last move with me. They are old. They are doing well, but life does have a cycle, of course.
As I contemplate the move, instead of being happy about my good fortune, I get very low. I find myself looking at old sitcoms from my childhood (thank goodness from You Tube). I find myself reading the obituaries of my parents' friends from my youth...the old days are gone, indeed. I find myself unable to sleep. I find that what should be a happy moment in my life is actually bittersweet. I almost wish that I was as old as my family members. Everyone thinks that I have great years of accomplishment ahead, but will that mean anything if my family is no longer with me, as one day they won't be.
I have no wife and likely will never have one. I have no children and likely never have any. So, I am the end of the line. I've mentioned that before here, too. It weighs on my mind during these big moments in life.
I sometimes almost think that I should give up on the next rung in the ladder of success--that somehow if I stopped, time would stop and nothing would change. I know that is not possible, of course. It is an emotional thing, I realize.
And, when I am alone...will I continue to thrive or will I wilt and fade? Was my accomplishment a result of my family being part of my life...without them, will I be nothing?
A late night think piece. Thanks for listening.
