Six weeks and counting...
...thought by now it would've got at least a tad easier but nope, I was disillusioned.
So we broke up, and when I say 'we' I mean mostly him and not so much me, and supposedly it's definitely for good. Although we have broken up like three times exactly like this before, and it has always apparantly been for good which is why I am stupidly still clinging on with hope. What can I say, I am a sucker for punishment.
I don't even know why I am here, just to rant I suppose, or for release I guess. I know what I should be doing, moving on with my life and all that blah, blah, blah crap instead of continuously phone watching and over analysing/re-playing events - my two new hobbies might I add. Don't get me wrong, I do mope around the house for the most part, especially did so in the aftermath of our breakup but I can be social butterfly too so am still embracing life, as difficult as it may be, living life without that special person, not having them to share new experiences and events with, wondering if they think of you as much as you do about them, surely they can't miss you, if they miss you it's only because it's a choice they made to do so right?
Have dissected my failed relationship over and over again, have cried, have been furious, depressed, in self-pity mode, have lost my appetite, have missed him deeply, have regained my appetite, have sent him stupid drunken texts, have missed him yet some more - list goes back and forth, ranging from every emotion, just wish I could forget him now. There are so many guys vying for my attention, just not him and that sucks. Big time. I just wish I didn't feel any more.