become more positive..

well as you guys have read froim me before my last relationship which happened to be 3 years was just a rollercoaster and was dragged out much longer than it should have been.

admittedly i still think about this girl and i even saw her tonight. its so hard seeing a person you used to be so close to and now we just walk by one another like we dont even know eachother, it honestly pisses me off kind of.

Badsically the main reason for this post is because i am being so negitive about my future, i still think about this girl and see her with her new boyfriend and just automatically question myself like: "does he treat her better than me" "does she already love him?" because they have only been together a few weeks.

i also cant seem to have feelings for anyone else can anyone explain to me how she can just start dating this person after only like a month of her and i being done? did she just not like me at all? or is it a rebound?

how can i become more positive about meeting new people and basically think about my ex less? i know its impossible to forget about her completely but i hate seeing her and then for the rest of the day shes on my damn mind its lame. its not that i am even upset she has a new boyfriend its just i get upset because i think about her and i dont want to. how can i become positive?

She is just doing her best to try to move on I think.

The best way to be more positive is to realize that you are in control. To know that the future holds good things for you. That there will be someone that in their company you feel happy with them..

"Accentuate the Positive. Eliminate the Negative!"

You probably have a lot of good things in your life to be happy about. Don't you? Good job? School? Family? Friends?

i do but its hard for me to just go cold turkey with this person who was a huge part of my life, and like i say shes dating this guy and yeah they dont look overly into eachother when i have seen them together but still she has someone and they have been together almost a month i think

Hmm, well i don't know what to say.

It is hard to know whether she is super into him or not, really. I mean, she may be reticent to show that in your presence anyhow, out of respect for you.

I understand - it is hard to let go of someone you've gotten close to over a long period of time. It almost feels unnatural, doesn't it?

i feel you, man. can't give you any advice, though, cause i'm in pretty much the same situation as you and don't know how to let go of these feelings myself.
but i do hope, one of the others comes up with something … where is everybody?

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Originally Posted by xwfuro

i also cant seem to have feelings for anyone else can anyone explain to me how she can just start dating this person after only like a month of her and i being done? did she just not like me at all? or is it a rebound?

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Something similar happened to me once. After 3 years of being together, we break up, and 2 weeks later she has a new boyfriend. Not two months, but two WEEKS.

Something I learned here on LF, that a lot of the female posters have said, is that usually a girl leaves the relationship a lot sooner than she lets you know. As in, for the last couple months of our relationships our girls were both already considering it over, and out on the look for something new. That's why it gives off the illusion that they can move on so quick.

As far as your other problems, it just comes with time man. It's only natural to be sad and feeling "depressed" after your life suddenly takes a 180. I mean you're use to having this person in your life for the last 3 years.. and right now your emotions are going into shock by trying to deal with the sudden change. Just give it time, it's okay to hurt. If we never hurt, how would we ever know what real happiness is?

Like clynn said, you are in control. The greatest gift we have in life is waking up every single morning with the gift of choice. You get to choose how you want your day to go. Sure a lot of circumstances happen throughout the day that are beyond your control - but HOW you react to them IS your choice.

I know whenever I feel like I'm getting in a "sad" mood, I just realize how much of my life I take for granted. I woke up this morning in good health, a lot of people can't say that. I can breathe the air freely without pain, a lot of people don't have simple luxuries like this that most people take for granted every single day. I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from, or where I'm going to sleep tonight. All you have to do is open your eyes and look at the world around you, and just realize no matter how bad you think your life is, it can ALWAYS be worse.

You lost your girlfriend. People breakup every day. Why don't you go sit down with someone who had to watch their parents' murder right in front of them and try to tell them how bad your life is. Go to your local city mission, sit down, and listen to some of those folk and what they have to deal with day-in and day-out. If you're life is so terrible, it's only because you're allowing it to be. We're given the greatest gift there is in life, if we choose not to embrace it, we have no one to fault but our own selves.

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Originally Posted by xwfuro

can anyone explain to me how she can just start dating this person after only like a month of her and i being done? did she just not like me at all? or is it a rebound?[/B]

how can i become more positive about meeting new people and basically think about my ex less? i know its impossible to forget about her completely but i hate seeing her and then for the rest of the day shes on my damn mind its lame. its not that i am even upset she has a new boyfriend its just i get upset because i think about her and i dont want to. how can i become positive?

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She's filling a hole. What you're doing is better- trying to heal it.

You two were all tangled up like string. It's supposed to suck after you break up. it'll suck for months.

You're thinking about her because you need to. Eventually, you won't so much. One day you won't think about her at all.

But not today, and not tomorrow, either.

Tone it is fun you might say the part about they move on while you still really together, because after seeing her new boyfriend last night i automatically knew his face i had never met him before but i had seen him multiple times. I woke up this morning then remembering where i had knew him from and he is a close friend of my ex gf's best guy friend. I had been aroudn when this kid was talking to her. So i have come to find out they have been talking to one another for the past 2 months like right after her and i broke up they got together she just didnt tell me.

She lied and said she didnt leave for him and she had just met him it was love at first sight blah blah. But this helps me to know that she still up to lieing to me even after we arent together i dont need a person like this.

maybe we could marry her off to my ex. they'd deserve each other.

very well said, giga – thank you!