A really messed up situation.....
So I had been with my boyfriend for almost two years when I left in September to spend three months in Africa. We had been having troubles and I was toying with the idea of breaking up with him before I left but thought that the time apart might help and make us stronger when I returned. But I found my feelings for him actually faded while I was away.
Well in Africa I ended up getting involved with someone else, but he also had a girlfriend. I felt horrendous for it. I hate the idea of cheating. But I ended up falling in love with this new guy. As much as I would really hope to Ive been told what I had with him was a dream. I would love to move out to africa and spend my life with him...but its almost impossible to do.
On my return from Africa I told my boyfriend everything and ended things with him. But he begged me to try again with him and that he forgave me. He told me he will trust me again because people make mistakes, but I dont know whether I can even trust myself again.
I can barely look him in the eye, let alone ever love him again. I am so confused and mixed up right now. Some people have said I should try things again with him others have said I should try my hardest to go back to Africa. I would really love for things to work between me and my boyfriend again because he is an amazing guy....but I just can't stop thinking about the other guy, I miss him so much and truly love him even though I know I probably wont ever see him again.
Agh. I have really messed things up. It makes things even more difficult that I live with my boyfriend, I currently have no job and would have to move back to my mums if we properly broke up.
I really need some good advice =(