My boyfriend likes to go into great detail and I am beginning to feel sick over it. I don't understand why anyone would need to do that. He doesn't seem to do it with an ulterior intention in mind, he just appears to do it to be 'honest' about that aspect of his life.
Does your boyfriend do the same?
Tell him to shut the hell up.
No. I'd punch him in the suckhole if he tried that and most men are wise enough to know better.
Saying what he'd like to do with YOU in bed and talking about what he did with his ex in bed are two different things. It would be a lot wiser of him to learn the difference.
I'd tell him that if she was 'that' unforgettable, go back to her.
My boyfriend was dumped by his ex for another man. He enjoys talking 'honestly' about his life. I'm so depressed about my boyfriend at the moment because he says he believes in polyamory and that most people love many people all at once but just deny it. I don't know what I say to that because I am beginning to think my belief in serial monogamy is just a cover up of polyamory. Can anyone help me out here.... what do you think?
I don't have enough love to give to many people at once- I am not one who covers it up. Don't let your guy fill your head with shit. Just 'cause HE believes that doesn't mean it's everyones reality.
There's a difference between "speaking honestly" and being a dick.. which is what your boyfriend is being. If he wants to talk about sexual things he enjoyed doing with his ex in the past-- he can bring it up by saying he'd like to do it with you.. not go into explicit detail about doing it with the ex. That's.. disrespectful and unsettling.. & it's also pretty much "common sense" that you don't pull crap like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
As for him now bringing up polyamory-- my guess is that this has been his motivation from he start. He was probably hoping that by talking about his sexual acts with others that you would be "turned on" or interested in it. Most creatures aren't monogamous by nature, least of all humans-- this is a fact. But I don't personally feel I'm denying myself anything by being committed & faithful to my boyfriend whom I love & would never want to share. You shouldn't feel "wrong" for wanting that same thing.
Leading a poly lifestyle isn't for everyone & likely isn't for you if you feel uncomfortable with him talking about being with someone else. And that's MORE than ok. In personal cases I've encountered of choosing this lifestyle always ends badly-- someone breaks the "rules", gets jealous, or it's just drama, drama, drama.
Do what's right by you.. not what you're dick of a boyfriend is trying to manipulate you into doing.
That's a rookie move. Usually, guys who do things that are this inconsiderate just haven't learned how to treat a girl.
Also, if polyamory doesn't work for you and it does for him, you guys are doomed anyway, so you may as well teach him a good lesson and dump his ass for giving you TMI about his ex in bed.
That's just tacky. How would he feel if you told him how you swallowed some guy's cock and the orgasms were amazing???! No one wants to hear ex-sex-experiences.... It's just not appropriate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This Polyamory thing is total bull crap. People who are truly in love can only love ONE PERSON. It's not a societal rule. We choose to be monogamous because there is really just one person who is that perfect for each individual.
My man wouldn't dare unless he wanted a play-by-play of my former dalliances in return.
Some people don't know where to draw the line when it comes to 'sharing themselves'. He's either completely tuned out to the way normal people interact and needs a giant smack to the head, or he's a dickwad. Regardless, you need to let him know this is NOT anything you want to hear about. You should only have to tell him once, if he cares about you, this will register and he will keep his mouth shut. If he mentions it again......well, its ultimately your call, but I'd be gone. That's just a sign of complete insensitivity from where I stand.
I also know someone who believes that everyone is secretely gay, but they are denying it and their straight lives and relationships are just a big cover up of the raging homesexuality that absolutely everyone feels.Quote:
Originally Posted by Scuba [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We call people like that delusional.
Illusional? Where did I miss the thread where he was secretly gay?
You didn't know? He's been posting about it in the hidden forum like all month.
So, my girlfriend let slip something wayyy below the belt about 6 months ago.
I was having a really, really off night, and came really quickly. Her response, out of frustration, basically was an indirect comparison of my duration and her exes.
By then I was already shot down, and it sucked. She basically compared me to her exes, and trust me, it ****ing sucked.
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The difference, however, is that she felt incredibly guilty about it, and told me past experiences should be left in the past, and she acted very shitty. I thought a lot about what she said for a few days, but that was it... it did suck hearing her say that shit though.
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The bedroom is an intimate moment between the two of you. You should tell him you don't want to hear about his past.
Simple as that.
I dunno, I don't really have a problem with my bf talking about his past sexual experiences. Not that he does it very often, but when he does I don't find it upsetting. We talk about sex quite a lot, so that inevitably leads to discussion of the past. BUT I know that if at any point I felt uncomfortable, he'd notice and stop.
I do think people are capable of loving more than one person at once, but obviously people wishing for a polyamorous arrangement need to find others with similar beliefs. You say you're a serial monogamist - you couldn't have chosen someone less suited to you!!