"Normal" for a woman to have only guy friends?
Hello. First post here....
I am 28/male. I am dating a 22 year old female. She lives about 1 hour away. Even still I don't see her often.
She seems very interested in me. She calls me several times a day. We probably talk about 3 hours a day via phone.
I met her on Yahoo Messenger.
My girl seems to have many guy friends.. many more than girl friends and I am curious if lots of girls have mostly guy friends. ( I have never dated anyone else who had almost 100% guy friends. )
It has been my experience that most guys have a hard time ONLY being friends with a woman. And it seems to me that several of these "friends" my girl hangs out with and calls, ect are after more that friendship but it doesn't seem to bother her. It is my opinion that almost every new guy she meets becomes a new friend ( someone she can trust enough to hang out with ). She refers to all of them as " My friend So-in-so" But from seeing how often some of these friends want to hang out with her I think they are after more.
One "friend" named "C" visited her last week. He is coming to see her again this weekend and wants her to go to a family reunuion with him in mid September. She said he told her it is so he doesn't go alone.
She called me and said "Don't be mad" first thing. I asked why was I gonna be mad. She told me "C" wanted her to go to the reunion and she already told "C" she will go. ( By the way she will have to be there like 2 days so she will stay the night up there both nights. )
So I really didn't know what to say. I told her I was a bit worried about her going for a couple days. Of course she told me not to worry. She said "C" knows he can't have her. She never elaborated on that.
I thought it was odd.
He lives farther away than me and it seems like he sees her more than I do.
And then again.... I tend to over worry about stuff. I think she meets new guys on the net or on the Singles chat line ( telephone ) and they call and talk to her ( or chat on the net ) and almost immediatly they are a "friend" . Nothing wrong with that I guess.. except I think they are always after something more.
Its just weird to me.. to call her and she says " Oh I am over at my friends house." She never tells me the name. If I ask she will tell me. I don't want to seem like a jerk. I don't mind her having guy friends. I just never dated anyone with all guy friends. ( As far as I know she has 1 friend that is a girl ). These guys call her night and day though. She told me once about this friend "G" she was watching TV at his house. Then later I found out he is 50 years old. 50!!!!!! She met him August 4th (I think) and a week later she was hanging out at his house. She doesn't like him at all anymore. He was a jerk. A "dirty old man". But it freaked me out that she just met him and she went over to watch TV with him. Is that strange or it it me?
She seems to trust anyone she meets online or on the phone chat after only a few days.. She is 22. She said this "G" didn't tell her he was 50 till she met him.
"G" the 50 year old... Turns out he wanted her to see him so he could get her to move in. He told her he wanted to have sex with her to see if she was good and if she was she could move in he wanted to find another woman to move in also... to be a sex slave.... Yep.. that is what he wanted. "G" just thought of "K" ( my girlfriend ) as a blow up doll with a job. That is what I thought. I am glad she doesn't go see him anymore.
But there are several guys that seem to call her all the time.
If I say something about worrying about her she shrugs it off. "He is a friend" Like I said I get the idea the first day she meets a new guy if that chat ( or phone call ) goes well she considers them a friend and they start calling her daily. As a matter of fact this guy "C" that came to see her last week and is coming back tomorrow and who has the family reunion... I'd bet money she hasn't know him as long as she has known me. Hell I bet she met him less than a week before he came to see her. That is how it seems to me. She meets someone, they are instantly a friend and so they have an invatation to come see her anytime.
There is a girl I chat with on Yahoo sometimes that I was telling this to and she said most her friends are guys cuz she doesn't trust girls. "K" told me pretty much the same thing . Friends that are girls will end up stabbing her in the back.
So I am unsure what to do or say. I don't mind her having friends. Even guy friends. But I think these guys ( some of them ) want more than friendship.. Like "G".
But she just shruggs it off like I said.
So is it strange for a woman to have nearly 100% male friends? And is it just me or does she become friends with new guys way too quickly?
Is it a sign of low self esteem?
I really like this girl and I want continue our relationship.
But something about this is bugging me.
Re: "Normal" for a woman to have only guy friends?
Your fears are warranted and they are not as well. While you may trust your g/f, we are talking guys here. You are a guy and you know how men think what they want.
I’m 21 and 90% of my friends are women. I like to talk, I’m more open then most guys so in a nutshell I think that is why I get along better w/ women then men as my friends. My g/f just left for college again and is a few hours away. She gets concerned sometimes (jealous) when I hang out w/ my friends. What I do to reassure her is I tell her what we do, where we go, etc without her even asking... she knows what is going on in my life. I also try and help her get to know them…. After all…. They are my friends…. So maybe try and see if you can chat online or what not--- tell your g/f you want to get to know some of her friends… that way you will have less of “what-if’s” going threw your head.
The thing with the 50 yr. old guys is freaky. A smart girl would be more careful then she has been. Personally I don’t trust guys (even being one myself).
Tell her how you feel. You sound insecure about this--- you cannot trust her cus you cannot trust other guys. It’s logical and if she understands you about this when you tell her… great… if not… move on if it bothers you. That is all I can say.
Remember jealousy is the fear of losing someone we care about. It is healthy and keeps you on your toes, but don’t let it consume you either… in this situation… you really need to keep on your toes no matter how much you trust her. After all, you are some ways away from her.