Okay there was another recent post about moving in with fiancee , but my situation is about 15 years ahead of theirs, and the dynamics are very different, so here is goes:
I started posting on this forum around the time I met my fiancee (around October 2009). We are both divorced, 2 small kids, mid/late 30s, previously married for over 13 years. We have a very close relationship, though not very mature at times because neither of us had much dating experience. There were ups and downs and craziness, but we decided that we are good for each other, and should spend our lives together. We were engaged last month.
Now that we are engaged, she wants me to spend more time at her house, and start sleeping over (I never did before because she has small children). She also wants me to give my landlord notice so that I can move in during spring. I am hesitant about this plan, and is driving me nuts. First, she lives really far from my work. It's a 90 minute commute each way, whereas it's 25 minutes each way from my apartment. Second, I really don't like living in the valley.... The scorching summers are brutal. Lastly, I don't want to move into her small house... I need space!
I don't know how to tell her. I want to be with her, but it's becoming soooo exhausting. I'm always late to work because the drive is insane. At this point I look forward to the days when I can go to my apartment and do my own thing. I hate to say this, but I feel boxed in. I want to move in when I find a new job, and hopefully get a bigger place. She has mentioned that her house will only be a temporary transition for us, and that we'll have a new place in the near future. But I worry what if I end up living there longterm. I really don't want to. I want my own house, which is currently occupied by my ex-wife, who takes care of my kids. I really don't know what to do. I have been pretending everything is cool, but I am actually not okay with it.
Any advice?