The love that changed my life
Hi,
I dont know where to start from. I have never been on an online forum but today is an exception. Today is an exception because it has been exactly one week i haven't seen her face or heard her voice or touched her soft skin. The love of my life is now somewhere else far away, maybe with another man, maybe with her parents and family and friends who all tell her to forget about me.
It all started when I moved to Australia. I had my mind set to finish University, get my degree, and help the people that mean the most in the world to me, my family. Speaking of my family, I come from a very conservative family and religion and society. A place where sexuality was forbidden and society and tradition are in control.
I did great with my studies. Unfortunately, it was not a safe sail for me as I went through hell living with relatives. Two continuous years of abuse untill I met her.
I met Tegan at work. She was so attractive. We started dating and slowly fell in love with each other. At the start, Tegan was another girl nothing serious, i was also going out with another girl from UNI. I guess to be in a serious relationship for me was not allowed. My religion, my family, my relatives if they know, i am dead!
Few months into dating tegan she found out about the other girl. I was in the bad books. But by then i had fell head over heals in love with her. I told her that I loved her and asked her for a chance. She loved me too. She gave me another chance and I won back her trust.
I told tegan about my situation. I told her I had to hide her from family and anyone who could tell them. It was not easy for her but she was patient. She understood the situation and stood by my side. We shared the best moments of life together. She made me very happy but very miserable too cause i knew that at some stage i will break my parents heart and their hope of me.
Nights and nights i cried and cried as it was tearing me up. I dont wanna leave either, why cant I have both.
On the other side, we had our bad time together. Few nasty fights that ended up in breaking up for one day or two then realise we cant live without each other and come back. The worst of it all is people around us all against our relationship our love.
All the pressure build up untill she told me u either tell ur parents by the end of this year or we will breakup and I will move on.
I love her do much. I promised her I will and I was so determined to do so. I went and saw my parents, stayed there few days.
In few days, they showed me how much they loved me, how much they care about me and how much they are proud of me. I was torn again, I didnt know what to do! Do I tell them and destroy the joy of their life, do i tell them that i love someone outside my religion and I wanna marry her and break my promise not to go on that path. Because if I do my father will get sick, every person in my society will look down on us, and I will probably kill the spirit of our family and ruin my little brother and sisters life.
I thought to myself, I need to be patient. I need more time. I dont know whether things might change between me and my love why kill the only thing i cared about before tegan. I could not do it.
When I came back, tegan was heart broken. She said that she will move on. She does love me but she cant put her life on the line for me. I think that is fair enough. I told her its okay i understand.
One month later, she started seeing someone else. I cant describe how horrible it feels. It eats me alive to knw that I have lost the love of my life.
Today has been exactly one week after we moved out. I miss her so much! I love her with all my heart! I cry every night praying to god for a miracle where I can keep both my family and my love!! Every day goes past and the nife of life goes deeper in my heart! I ask myself why??????
WHY did i have to be born into this religion? Why did I fall in love with someone just to suffer?? Why me?? where is GOD??
Why I cant be happy? If i marry tegan, i cant live with myself with the disappointment i caused my parents, and if i dont marry tegan i am doomed to be alone and suffer and miss her for the rest of my life! It is not a temporary situation or feeling, It is true love! Love that never dies and will NEVER WILL!
For you I wrote this short story! For the love of my life! My one and only one! I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU TEGAN ANNE BAYLISS untill the day I die!
