Something I just wrote:

Not really poetry, just a random scrambling...

"Is there anyway to stay by your side? Pick you up and lift you high, take you away from this place one day...to walk away and start a life with indepedence and happiness. Would you have me? Loving you was never a problem, taking your pain away is something so hard, yet I try never to hide. I say, when everyone is gone...I'd still be here...so would you have me once more? A last dance to the song of our lives. Smile for me, because your really are so beautiful."

sigh.... you take my breath away sometimes.. Im so impressed by your writing...
was that for someone or totally random?

Thank you!

It was both random and to someone...

lol lovin your sig

awww! that is so beutiful in so many ways i can relate to you!

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Originally Posted by Innova

Not really poetry, just a random scrambling...

"Is there anyway to stay by your side? Pick you up and lift you high, take you away from this place one day...to walk away and start a life with indepedence and happiness. Would you have me? Loving you was never a problem, taking your pain away is something so hard, yet I try never to hide. I say, when everyone is gone...I'd still be here...so would you have me once more? A last dance to the song of our lives. Smile for me, because your really are so beautiful."

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That was really beautiful. I've read a few of your entries and I am totally in love with your writing. I would love to correspond with you. I love writing as well. It is a great form of release for me. If you ever want to chat with someone as intersted in writing their innermost thoughts, write me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Contact me, pretty please!! ;)

Hey, thanks! :lol:

I'd love to chat sometime. I have msn and aim..whichever one suits you most, or e-mail works. I've been on a pretty bad writers block off and on lately..but it's going away little by little lol.

Innova------*swoon* :-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Innova

Hey, thanks! :lol:

I'd love to chat sometime. I have msn and aim..whichever one suits you most, or e-mail works. I've been on a pretty bad writers block off and on lately..but it's going away little by little lol.

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I would love to chat with you sometime. I currently don't have aim, but i will download it as soon as I can. Until then you can e-mail me. My address is on my profile. If yours is on yours (boy that was redundant), I'll write you. But I think I tried writing you before and i was told you didn't want to receive e-mails :( . I'll try again.

As for when we can chat, I'll let you know when I can finally get aim downloaded. I'm at work from 8-5, come home to a bunch more work.

I'll keep you informed. Thanks for your interest.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Innova

Not really poetry, just a random scrambling...

"Is there anyway to stay by your side? Pick you up and lift you high, take you away from this place one day...to walk away and start a life with indepedence and happiness. Would you have me? Loving you was never a problem, taking your pain away is something so hard, yet I try never to hide. I say, when everyone is gone...I'd still be here...so would you have me once more? A last dance to the song of our lives. Smile for me, because your really are so beautiful."

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Not really poetry is right. First of all, the last line has a typo. That's a big no-no. Secondly, there is only one metaphor in the entire thing (it's in the second to last line.) Only one! And it's a cliche. That makes me sad.

I realize I'm being a critical bastard, but hopefully you'll take it constructively. If I received that piece of writing from some eager-eyed hopeful, I'd- well, I'd probably be nice, but I'd be cringing inside.

Break out the good stuff Innova! Some inspired poetry or something. You can't win me with a few sappy lines, but way to pull one over on your little flock of sheep. Congrats.

Peace though. Hehe.