Cheated and still in love
I have the weirdest relationship :( I will tell you the short story.
I had a 4 years relation with a guy 6 years older than me. He cheated on me and at first I forgave him, not wanting to loose all we had together and the efforts to be together. After 2 months he cheated me again and we broke up like a month, I cried a lot after him, not for what he did to me and when he said he was sorry I forgave him again. After a few months he cheated again...with the same woman, who is actually a co-worker. We have broken up for 1 year. I suffered, I tried everything to forget about him, I didn't answer his phone calls, I even tried to go out with some guys, but I couldn't take my mind from him so last week we saw each other after 1 year. We didn't plan this, it just happened and we didn't even said hi, we hugged, kissed and cried that we missed each other. I went to his apartment, spent the night there and we talked to try again. In the meantime he had a relation with the same girl he cheated me with. He said he had no feelings for her, but he was hoping he could forget about me in this way. He promised me to talk with her to end the relation, but today he didn't answer my calls and later I find out from him that she was at his apartment to talk about the break-up, but I can't trust him, I know it wasn't just talking involved.
I seriously want to move on, to forget about him and not to be the same stupid that forgives him every time. It seems to me that when he is bored he goes to another, than to me and so on. I tried everything to forget him, I tried to spend time with family, friends, new hobby, reading, dating but my heart still wants him and I know that tomorrow I can forgive him again and his attitude makes me sick and I realize how bad he treats me, but still....I need help.