This will be a long possibly boring read. But I'm reaching out because I have no where I feel I can turn. And I truely need advice. Truthful advice is needed wether too harsh or not. I feel like I'm wasting my life on someone that doesn't deserve it. I'm 25 and have two children. Both to a guy who i have loved for 6 years. We have not been together for the last two years. But I haven't moved on. He has but is now single and telling me he loves me. He has always seemed to choose other girls over me. But blames me for the failure of our relationship. Last night we went to sleep together and I stopped because I felt so ugly and disgusting because I didn't understand why he would want me now after I have put on so much weight and look horrible and not want me while we were together ( well choose to be with other women other then working out our relationship) I want him. I want our family back. But I think I'm just setting myself up for more heartache. He says I'm beautiful no matter what but Why now. I feel like my poor kids are suffering because I'm so depressed over all of this. And after two years of the same feelings I feel like there is no end. I'm lost. And I can't heal my heart.