Are virgins are turn-on or turn-off?

Im 20 years old, nearly 21, female, I would say I'm good looking, I am about 5'8, average build, long black hair, light brown eyes, many of my friends do compliment me on my looks, so I don't feel as though I'm ugly.

I am pretty inexperienced, I haven't done much often. I have only dated one guy in the past, we weren't in a relationship, but we were seeing each other for a few months, however it ended very badly and I was extremely hurt. Things did progress sexually between us, I have given a handjob/blowjob & been fingered, so foreplay has been done, but have only done it a couple of times so I don't really seem to know exactly what I'm doing.

Every time I seem to meet a guy or just talk to a male, I realise that the virginity is a big put off to them. I haven't come across a guy that has found it a turn-on, I was dating another guy recently for a short amount of time and as soon as he found out I was a virgin he changed his attitude towards me and distanced himself from me. I don't understand this, I didn't think being a virgin could completely change someones feelings towards you.

I'm not religious, nor am I prude. I'm not waiting for marriage, or for years down the line or even months down the line, all I'm waiting for is a guy to like me for me and get to know me as a person and respect me.

But it seems to me that every single guy I meet, no matter if hes older or younger than me, can't seem to get over the fact that I'm a 'virgin' and I'm automatically friend-zoned or they cut me out of their lives and stop talking to me.

That's odd. Must be a regional or national thing because guys here in 'Murrica like virgins.

It's neither a turn on or off for me. If you are having to much issue with that, then just don't tell them that you are. If they ask, just tell them that have to figure it out :P

It's a lot of responsibility to be the first... people who are a bit more mature take it more seriously than teenagers. Be happy that the guys you've been meeting aren't being jackasses.

To make a long story short, I cannot see any reason whatsoever why you should be concerned about this.

You say that "Every time I seem to meet a guy or just talk to a male, I realise that the virginity is a big put off to them."

"Just talk to"??? Why would you bring this up at all during this stage?? Also, I don't think that virginity in general is a put-off. Rather on the contrary.

To me it just sound like you haven't met the right one to be your first yet.

Generally, guys who are turned on by virgin girls are older, creepy men, or just generally creepy men with misogynistic, medieval outlooks on sex. In general, for normal guys, virgins aren't either a turn-on nor a turn-off.

I can think of three different options:

1) If a guy is into you, he won't mind whether you're a virgin (=> less experienced therefore less "fun" the first times, more responsibility on his part, etc) or not.

2) If a guy isn't 100% into you and he's a douche, he will want to have sex with you whether you're a virgin or not.

3) If a guy isn't 100% into you and he's a good guy, he won't want to have sex with you, because he wouldn't want you to have your first time with a guy who isn't 100% into you. This is pretty much the only scenario I can imagine for a guy not wanting to sleep with you because you're a virgin.

I suggest you find a virgin guy that you like, to have your first time with. You'll be equally awkward and curious and it will be sweeter than with a more experienced guy than you.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's a lot of responsibility to be the first... people who are a bit more mature take it more seriously than teenagers. Be happy that the guys you've been meeting aren't being jackasses.

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+1 ..........