My complicated story-how to get over her?
I'm relatively normal teenager,but I was always too shy to approach a girl so I never really considered it.I have some friends who were also quite love shy so they made it bareable.I always met girls online.During that time I met another girl online and she wanted us to meet each other in RL but I refused,mostly because I wasn't ready to do something like that-I was too damn scared and a bit mazohist.I enjoyed thinking that girls are something I will never get because I am a victim of bullying.
Later in my life I met from the net in RL but I was always rejected.
It was like this until May of this year.Then,I met this girl called Mary on a mobile phone chat.She was about my age and she said she was coming to my town to colledge.Soon got very intimate,sending each other love messages.It was actually quite naive from us,because she said would be coming to my town in October and that was May,but we were too shortsighted to anknowledge that.
Basically,we would send each other erotic messages and pictures and we would say "I love" you all the time.Of course,I was worried a lot about the moment when we will meet,I was afraid she would dump me like all other girls did,but she told me not to worry because that is impossible.
But now comes the strangest part.Mary and me wrote so many messages to each other that we would just stare at our cellphones so we decided to take a break for a few days.
During the last day of our break I got a bit depressed and I missed her a lot,but I knew her cellphone was switched off,so I went to that mobile chat again,without any expectations,just to kill some time.
But that day was the worst day of my life.I met another girl,this only 16 year old and from my town.Her name was Sofia.The remarkable thing was that she went to the same kindergarden with me,so I remembered her a little when she was just a baby.
After some messages exchanged I told her about my fears towards girls,without mentioting that first girl,of course,and she said she would like to kiss me to make that up.
Suddenly I was in contact with two interested girls.It was flattering but scary in the same time.I got tons of beautiful messages every day from two different girls.However,in the same time,I was scared.
I wanted to be with the first girl because I had met her sooner and we were really attached but I decided to stay in the contact with Sofia too.Hell,in case the first girl doesn't like me I'll try my chances with the other one.You don't get many chances like this,I thought to myself.
However,there was one thing I didn't expect.The younger girl,Sofia,wanted us to meet somewhere,while Mary was still uncertain about the date of her arrival to see me for the first time.
So,out of sheer boredom,I met with Sofia first,just two days before Mary's arrival.I came there with greasy,unwashed hair and badly dressed,not expecting anything BUT MY GOD-we talked for 6 hours straight.
Moreover,my long awaited meeting with Mary 2 days later was rather lukewarm and dissapointing,but she didn't reject me and we kissed.
Now I was in some serious trouble.Two girls wanted me???!!! Even though I knew that Sofia really,really liked me I felt like I was responsible to Mary.Out of sheer stress and anxiety I did the stupidest thing ever.I told Sofia about Mary.She cried,but I comforted her and told her I will dump Mary.
But I had no courage to do it.Another factor was that Mary was not around and we have only seen that one time.So,I just told Mary we shoud be friends and we can continue our relationship after she arrives permanently in my town.
Now I started going out with Sofia and she was the first girl I ever really kissed with,for hours,it was magnificent.I touched her,caressed her and held her in my arms.
However,even after she forgave me about Mary I continued do to one stupid mistake after another.One day we had to meet and it was raining so I cancelled it so she got all wet.Now I know only a moron would to that-I don't know what got into me!
But my worst mistake was telling her I don't want to commit(I was scared of being hurt again).She became really mad after these words and said she's had enough of me treating her this way.
I tried do explain,but I couldn't.Unfortunately,she went to the seaside only one day after our fight so I couldn't do anything.
After she went to the seaside for 50 days I realised how much I miss her and love her during the first week of her absence.I spent my entire summer thinking about her.
I sent her many SMS messages,trying to explain myself and telling her I love her.She surprised me by saying that she'll be back for 2 days in order to get some medical test results.I asked her if we could meet then,but she refused,telling me I am a complicated person and difficult to deal with.Then I made another mistake and became angry,asking her if she liked touching my ****.It was an idiotic mistake,I know.
We never met during those 2 days,and she returned to the seaside.
I was getting desperate,begging her to forgive me,but her answers got colder and colder until she stopped answering me at all.
She hadn't sent a message in over 25 days while I sent over 20.I became so desperate that I admitted everything to Mary,who I did not see again but that one time.She told she is no mad and that she also has a confession to make-she didn't like me in RL and she knows I didn't like her too,but she wants to be my friend.She even said she wanted to try being with me before i told her about Sofia so she wouldn't dissapoint me.Moreover,she wanted to help me about Sofia so she sent her a SMS,telling her that we are just friends.Afterwards Mary and me became just friends and we will probably have a cup of coffee after she arrives here in October.
After Sofia finally returned on Septebmer 1,she sent me a short message "I don't know,I don't like you anymore".That was all after my 20 messages.
I begged her to let me see her one more time and she said ok,and told me that she'll let me know the time and place tomorrow.However,she never told me anything
She started completely ignoring me,never answering to any calls or answering to any messages.
I became totally depressed,crying a lot,not leaving the house to go out with my friends any more.I was on medications that helped me through the day.
I thought she will never contact me again in any way,however,after some time she contacted me again and we even talked on the phone.We agreed to meet face to face,but she didn't appear.
Now we exchange messages but she is very cold and doesn't want to meet me in RL again.
I got so desperate that I waited for her 2 and half hours at a tram station but she didn't appear.
She says she still likes my looks but she doesn't like me as a person.
Although my actions may point otherwise,I love her.It was just a combination of bad luck and my inexperience that caused this.
I tried to forget about her so I met an older girl who is my age but my self confidence is so low these days that I didn't want to have anything with her because I felt like I don't deserve her.Other reason is that I still
think a lot about Sofia...I don't want to be a stalker and follow her around but I can't forget her
What should I do?
