Fed up, gave up

They say I'm an eight year old dreamer waiting for my prince charming. Well, at least I used to be , but I gave up!
>First there was my husband, an arrogant dictator and night wanderer, from whom I got divorced after 20 years of mental torture and pain.
>Then the "tuna", a compulsive liar and flirt, fell in love with my house (I thought he was in love with me :upset:) and he kept hanging around until he was finally able to shack up with me for 18 months. I ended up kicking him out because he wouldn't waste one single opportunity to flirt with young chicks "under my nose".
>Then the "cat"; the liberal liar who presented himself as being separated and father to a four year old girl. We saw each other once or twice a week in my house, after work, strictly for supper and sex. Three months after we met and because I found his behaviour strange he ended up confessing that he had other lovers when I confronted him with the question. From then on we were on and off for another 9 months until I dumped him permanently. When I was feeling weak and considering seeing him again,I ended up finding out that he never stopped visiting his daughter's mother for sex as well. I found this out through her.

Would you continue believing that it's worth the while to waste your energy on relationships if you were in my place?

I gave up :french:

Well Bunny, giving up is a sign of weakness! If you'd be willing to accept men your age, maybe a bit nerdy and who aren't incredibly good-looking, then maybe you'd find your prince charming!

PS: I suggest the fbf!

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Originally Posted by Amena [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well Bunny, giving up is a sign of weakness! If you'd be willing to accept men your age, maybe a bit nerdy and who aren't incredibly good-looking, then maybe you'd find your prince charming!

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Who wants a nerd?!

Nerds are sexy! Seriously, what could be hotter than intelligent man who is deeply pasionate about some esoteric subject?

I <3 nerds.

^ I second


also maria, I like your thread title. short and to the point. love will find you when youre not looking for it. Just do what makes you happy and dont think you need a guy in it to make you happy

I think nerds are HOT! There aren't as many women chasing after them, therefore there's less deviation potential from the guy’s part.
As long as a man is equipped with the necessary physical and emotional capacities, then he’s a good candidate! Also, good looks are only skin deep…and as we very well know some of the not so handsome men can a handful too.

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Originally Posted by MariaDoGato [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

They say I'm an eight year old dreamer waiting for my prince charming. Well, at least I used to be , but I gave up!
>First there was my husband, an arrogant dictator and night wanderer, from whom I got divorced after 20 years of mental torture and pain.
>Then the "tuna", a compulsive liar and flirt, fell in love with my house (I thought he was in love with me :upset:) and he kept hanging around until he was finally able to shack up with me for 18 months. I ended up kicking him out because he wouldn't waste one single opportunity to flirt with young chicks "under my nose".
>Then the "cat"; the liberal liar who presented himself as being separated and father to a four year old girl. We saw each other once or twice a week in my house, after work, strictly for supper and sex. Three months after we met and because I found his behaviour strange he ended up confessing that he had other lovers when I confronted him with the question. From then on we were on and off for another 9 months until I dumped him permanently. When I was feeling weak and considering seeing him again,I ended up finding out that he never stopped visiting his daughter's mother for sex as well. I found this out through her.

Would you continue believing that it's worth the while to waste your energy on relationships if you were in my place?

I gave up :french:

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WOW you sound like me. It seems the more committed to a relationship if that's the right word the more you get taken advantage of. At least that's my take.
After a bad divorce swore I would never get into a relationship again, well I had three very short relationships that I always ended just don't trust a thing women say any more.
Well about three years ago a women I was attracted to(but fought for months)after months broke down all the walls and I let her into my life, She was wonderful, attractive and very hard working. But I am now realizing three months after her dumping me she USED ME 100% and even after ward reading her e-mails and text to me is gloating about it. I got her from a dumb to a nice place, she caught up all her bills, I got her a real good job. After she was set up she kicked me to the curb. She used my kids to her benefit to get to me knowing my teen age girl never had a mom, promised her adoption and all.
I guess the only positive thing is she has lost the job due to disrespect,(now working a min. wage job from 600-700 per week.) one of her friends has told me this is how she was until she met me, she had a crack head move in with her. She's now behind on all her bills and when her kids see me they're is always a battle because they won't go with her they want to stay with me. LOL
I would have died to have her back but now If she came to my door I would offer the kids to stay she could go live on the streets.
I can't see ever letting anyone back into my life to do this to me and my kids ever again, the walls are now higher and thicker and I will never be disrespected or used again.

Hi,
Thanks for your participation!
I'm sure there are many more good people out there with stories like ours. The important thing is that we don't let ourselves be put down and that we understand that life is beautiful with or without somebody by our side. "Better alone than with bad company">translated from a portuguese proverb which I live by.
I've decided to close the doors and, as you said, built higher and thicker walls too :)
Now I feel safe and secure!

Well, I disagree with you this time.

As for the husband, don;t sweat it, you didn't know any better at the time. As for the next two...I'm almost certain there were signs early on that things weren't right.

Not to be Johnny Judgmental here, but it sounds like you have a belief system about what kind of man you can attract. I'm absolutely certain you can find a better man that suits you perfectly.

Whatever you do, don't give up. If you keep trying it is possible you won;t find anyone thats right for you, but if you give up it's guaranteed. And thats the end of the platitudes.

Just keep looking.

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Originally Posted by MariaDoGato [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

They say I'm an eight year old dreamer waiting for my prince charming. Well, at least I used to be , but I gave up!
>First there was my husband, an arrogant dictator and night wanderer, from whom I got divorced after 20 years of mental torture and pain.
>Then the "tuna", a compulsive liar and flirt, fell in love with my house (I thought he was in love with me :upset:) and he kept hanging around until he was finally able to shack up with me for 18 months. I ended up kicking him out because he wouldn't waste one single opportunity to flirt with young chicks "under my nose".
>Then the "cat"; the liberal liar who presented himself as being separated and father to a four year old girl. We saw each other once or twice a week in my house, after work, strictly for supper and sex. Three months after we met and because I found his behaviour strange he ended up confessing that he had other lovers when I confronted him with the question. From then on we were on and off for another 9 months until I dumped him permanently. When I was feeling weak and considering seeing him again,I ended up finding out that he never stopped visiting his daughter's mother for sex as well. I found this out through her.

Would you continue believing that it's worth the while to waste your energy on relationships if you were in my place?

I gave up :french:

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Eh, I think you are kind of pathetic. Why continue to see a liar for 9 more months if you know he is worthless?

Yea, I agree with the others. Drop your standard to nothing and date a idiot who does nothing but play Call of Doodoo Modern Wellfare 2 all day on his xbox. Have fun. I'm off to pleasure a woman who actually likes a real man.

Usually posts like these are so one sided. Men leave if something sucks in a relationship also, look in a mirror.

For the moment, I think I'm living the title of this thread. I posted my story here recently. After three months of marriage my wife, the woman whom I believed to be my soulmate and the love of my life, left me for ridiculously immature reasons. She started giving up on the marriage after just 30 days and spent the following 60 days debating if she should stay or not. After two years of a perfect relationship, a wonderful wedding and honeymoon, she claims she saw the "real me" and had to bail when she didn't give me enough time to really grasp the enormity of the situation or make the most major changes to my habits and personality that come along with co-habitating.

Tonight I gave up on her. I've been chasing her for a month and finally I sent her a Facebook message saying I was done, I love her and just want her to be happy and if the only way she'll be happy is without me, then so be it. If she gave up on our marriage after 30 days then chances are she's going to bail on any other relationship she gets herself into from here on out because no guy is perfect. No guy magically knows how to treat a woman every second of the day. All guys screw up and act insensitively at some point. She just doesn't understand that.

Chances are, tomorrow I'll be miserable and lonely and wishing her back. Letting her go really is the first step in getting her back. I haven't given her time to miss me, but she's been more than happy to give me all the time in the world to miss HER. So you know what? I'm sick of being miserable. If it's meant to be, she will have to come crawling back to ME.

Hmm. There are two common threads that I can see from the description of your relationships. 1. They all cheated on you, and 2. They were dating you.

Anytime something keeps occurring over and over again, that's a pretty big signal that the problem lies in something you are doing. Perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of men. Perhaps the way you interact with them pushes them away. I have no idea, but it's something you should really reflect on. Instead of being extreme and avoiding love all together, it would better to try to figure out where you went wrong so you can have more successful relationships in the future, instead of just blaming everyone else. No, cheating is never justified, but being with men who cheat is something you have control over.

"Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars
But in ourselves ..."

I agree with kms. Three cheaters in a row seems more than just bad luck. What is it about players that you find so attractive?

Carl.

@ Carl. The thanks is for the quote from Caesar.