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If you say that, you might as well not even bother asking her out. Show some confidence. Just say...hey, wanna grab lunch with me tomorrow? Don't show your insecurities.Quote:
"I know its probably going to be a no, but, ill regret myself if i dont ask. Would you want to go *Which ever pops up, cinema, lunch etc"
As another shy guy speaking, I feel weighed down with pressure when it comes to having a conversation with someone I'm still getting to know, so if you're anything like me it may be worth taking her out to enjoy some kind of activity on a first date: go play pool, go indoor rockclimbing, play mini-golf, etc. I feel like an activity would make the conversations more spontaneous and fun, versus coming up with things to discuss and all the potentially awkward questioning - that usually becomes easier as you get to know the person and have some idea of what kind of person she is. I'm not sure I really recommend going to see a movie as a first though, as you're preoccupied with the movie before you and not really getting to know one another.
And like violingirl said, make sure you do not ask her out by including how you're expecting a 'no' - you don't want to cut your chances of success voluntarily. Try and make it sound as casual as possible too, so she feels more comfortable to the idea.
You should get to know her first, you should be attracted to someone for their personality not just their looks. Try becoming friends, do things together then let the relationship progress. I say this because some people can be "stunning" but at the same time you could have nothing in common, which is never really a good start to a relationship. Don't feel you have to dive straight in there, take it at your own pace and whatever was meant to happen will eventually happen.
Build up your confidence, get comfortable with yourself. Even if she isn't the one, you will find someone because everyone has a someone :)
Thanks for the comments.
@violingirl - cheers, I'll make sure i stay clear of similar lines!
@Rollingwithlife - Good to see someone similar to myself, ill take what you said in, ive decided ill try the Pier thats close, with mini golf on it etc, perfect ;)
@ConfusedMother - Its not her looks alone that attract me, she has been working here for a few days, She is very polite, caring, a little shy and all round a lovely person. I'll take it more slowly as you say, get to know her a bit (But i worry that if i take too long, it may be too late) Thanks for your comments also!
Overall, i think i will wait, try to get to know her a little more, also it will allow her to get to know me too, many of my friends say i'm a nice guy, but i doubt she will realize what im about for a few days, thanks again for the advise.
That advice might work for a pretty girl but not for a guy. Things don't just happen. Since girls so rarely take initiative, a guy has to make things happen. If a guy waits around for his destiny, he'll die of old age before he gets his first kiss.Quote:
Originally Posted by ConfusedMother [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
@JustSomeGuy777
I would advice against waiting. Ask her out as soon as you manage. The point of going out with someone is to get to know each other. There are just so many reasons to ask her out straight away.
If you hang around too much, you'll likely be trapped in her friend zone. Never become friends with a girl you're interested in because most of them will never consider dating a friend.
The sooner you find out if she's available, the less chance you'll get hurt. And if she is available, the sooner you start dating her, the less chance there is that she starts seeing someone else.
If you ask her out straight away, you'll appear more confident than you really are. This is important since pretty much every girl holds confidence as an essential attribute and aren't interested in guys who lack it.
Also, if you can, keep your feelings under control. Don't start developing anything for her until you're sure she's interested in you too. I don't know if you have problem with that, but you seem quite similar to me in many respect and I have trouble crusing way too easily myself so I though I should share my advice.
If you want to, you can invite her to drinks even if you don't drink yourself. Just order water, juice, soft drink or whatever you like. I don't drink booze either and have invited girls to drinks before.
I'm a shy guy as well, I know how hard it is. Good luck :)
As a 30 year old guy who is still kind of in the same boat as you, my best advice is to strike up a conversation with her and let it go where it may. You may find she isn't your type after all, or she may already be taken. But you're never gonna know if you don't try