5 year relationship is having problems.... PLEASE HELP!!!

I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASE HELPP!!!!

Hello Everyone!

Im going to start off with a little about myself.
I am a 22 year old female who lives in Virginia. I grew up being raised by a very young mother. We moved around a lot and I never met my father. I learned at a very young age to only rely on myself and I have always been very Independent.
Since I was 14, I have been working and saving money to pay for whatever I wanted. I became fully self sufficient taking care of my own bills, food, cloths, even bought a brand new car all by myself at the age of 17!
I have worked very hard to take care of myself. I became a Paralegal and work at a law firm and have my own apartment.
Anyways.... I have been dating the same wonderful man for 5+ years. We are best friends and we are always there for eachother. We have had a very strong relationship for all these years.
The problem I have is how he is with his family. I am a very strong believer that family is important and should always be the second priority in life after God. BUT, when is family too much??
My boyfriend is 24 years old and still follows his custody schedule that his parents constructed when they got divorced when he was 8 years old.
He still lives at home with his mom, brother (who is 21 years old), little sister who is 9 and his step dad.
He switches off every other weekend between his mothers house and fathers house and has dinner with his dad every Tuesday and Thursday.
Because I have my OWN apartment and like cooking for myself and hanging out in the place that I work hard to pay for, he gets upset that I dont go to his parents house to hang out that much anymore.
I only visit my own parents every once a week or once every other week and they live 20 minutes away.
What bothers me is the relationship he has between his mother. She still does his laundry, cook, clean, pay for his cloths etc... She calls him to come hom to take care of the dishes, come home for dinner and even called him 2 times in 30 minutes yesterday (while we were out on a fancy dinner date with eachother) to remind him to take out the trash when he got home. He's 24........why does he still have chores???
He's the one who has to mow the lawn, do the landscape, put up the seasonal decorations, pick up his little sister from daycare when she cant make it etc.... The step dad does nothing.... His mother and step dad have seperate bedrooms and have not slept together for over 6 years. He lives in the basement and rarely comes up to do anything but to eat dinner. Its a very odd marriage with no affection.
So my boyfriend gets treated like the husband.
I am very concerned and bothered by this. I have tried talking to him and letting him know that this is unhealthy but he gets upset with me saying it doesnt bother him and his mom has no one else to help her.
I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose him but I dont know how much longer I can take this.
Am I being selfish??
We have talked about marriage but until I see a change, I dont even want to consider it.
He claims he lives at home because he can live there for free and save money to buy a house but he ends up spending the money on car modifications or useless stuff.
Does anyone have any advice? I dont want to change who HE is but I need to do something about this situation. I want to get married, and have kids and definitly move out of Virginia but I dont think he wants to move far from his mom.

Please help me and provide some advice. Thank you all who have stuck in through this story....