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Friendship is the root cause for love.How do you know that you are in love.Are there any symptoms,the way you feel,your behavior etc ........
Always there is a thin line between love and lust and people often confuse between the two.How do you know the difference.
Sorry bud, can't explain you because love is not a feeling, but an action. As long as that doesn't make sense, there's no use me trying to explain you about love.
there are diff. types of love. i've experienced two.
one is where you are passionate about someone. they drive you insane and you cannot get them out of your mind. they might hurt you a lot, but the happy moment you have together make life worth while. and even after they are gone from your life and you have suffered so much pain from them, you still cannot hate them, because they were the greatest adventure you've ever had, and will always have a warm place in your heart.
the second is i feel the more mature one. it's where overtime you start to feel attached to a person because they have become your best friend. you feel you understand each other better then anyone else can. you have a great time together whether you are having a wild night night, or babysitting his little brother while watching sponge bob. the person becomes a part of who you are and you cannot image life without them, and as these feelings grow, there develops attraction and desire towards them. the kiss you share is the most wonderful and intimate you ever felt because you know that this person has become a part of who you are long before you ever touched. but this person too can drive you nuts sometimes. lol
anyways that's the experience i've had with love, but i'm only 20, so i think much love is ahead of me. :-D
Yggdrasil is half way there, and points out the part that most people forget. Romantic love, however, is strongly motivated by "feelings" of physical and emotional attraction. What you choose to do with those feelings defines the difference between real romantic love (feelings + action) and infatuation (feelings only).Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Infatuation is love on the cheap and it's selfish because it's all about how someone makes you feel. Love is not all about feeling good (or not feeling bad). Real romantic love is a commitment to the hard work of a suceessful relationship, gladly undertaken because of your feelings for each other, and because you realize that the relationship makes you both stronger than either of you would be if you were apart.
Hope this helps.
Carl.
From my perspective
I do not have much experience with love
though from the experience I have
I believe love is a feeling
My experience and definition
love is feeling of warmth
love is feeling of life
life defined as people and beings you trust and value
basically
love is feeling you are with others you value and trust
thus warmth
love as an action without also being a feeling does not make much sense to me
if it is an action then it should have feeling associated with it
warmth
or more specifically
warmth originating and flowing from your core
Love isn't a feeling. Love is knowing and a present state of being within yourself and another person that loves you as well. Emotion is a feeling, which is a component of love. So is lust. Both are elastic, and when you come to "love" someone, will incorporate into your love of that person. They make up the things humans most easily identify with. (we have to or the species would not continue on) Loving someone and being in love are completely different. Being "in love" with someone comprises those components I listed above. It's also a stretch of your ego boundaries and temporarily accommodates that other person. When your ego snaps back to you (shrinks) that's when you fall out of love. (that other person no longer has room within the boundaries of your ego) Love only becomes reality when the veil of emotion and lust parts and your ego permanently expands to include the other person. That is something you have to decide on your own, and has nothing to do with feeling.Quote:
Originally Posted by ironclaw [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Friendship isn't the cause of love, it's part of the foundation of love. If you're not friends with someone you love, then you can't have love in the first place. Friendship itself, even without love, is also the change of size of your ego boundaries to accommodate another person. (friend)
If you're "feeling" symptoms right now, you're in love, and the chances of "loving" someone is quite possible providing you are willing to adjust your own boundaries to accommodate that other person. That will mean over time, you will have to accept "everything" that other person is, both their good and bad traits, and everything in between.
Good luck!
I disagree with love is not a feeling. Because when I'm in love- boy is that feeling a wonderful one.
To me there is love, and there is in love.
Love: is a deep care for the person: family and friends typically fall under this category.
In love: is everything that love is and so much more. Your heart longs for this person, your head thinks about this person, your body wants this person. In love is also actions: you do many things to keep this person happy. You do the things you don't want to, you try new things, you compramise.
Pretty good Carl. This saves me a lot of time.Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
One word of advice though: romantic love isn't 'real love'. Romantic love is dinner by candle light, walking hand in hand down the beach at dawn, kicking the leafs in fall while walking through the park. Again, romantic love are feelings achieved by actions. Romantic love should be an expression of your feelings towards your partner, not the other way around.
Real love (also called consumate love), starts by making a choice. The choice to love this person. It's a choice you as an individual make. With that choice, come tremendous responsibilities:
The commitment (as you correctly pointed out) to stick with your partner, not only when things are great, but also when things are not so great. The choice to accept your partner as he or she is, with his or her good and bad sides. The willingness to work out problems which occur in the relation, to do such in a mature and respectfull manner, without fighting, yelling or screaming. The letting go of control and daring to take a risk, by showing your true self to your partner, and hoping that your partner won't reject you. The show of appreciation for the little things your partner does for you, every single day they are with you. The ability to trust, the willingness to listen and the ability to understand. The choice to support your partner with their decissions, no matter how silly they may sound to you. Most of all, it's about acceptance.
From this what I call choice to realy love someone, come the feelings of romantic love, acceptance, feeling one with your partner, feeling understood, appreciated,, special, unique and yet connected via an invisible bond.
This again creates a feeling of intimacy, which leads to passion.
The combination of passion, intimacy and commitment, is what keeps a relation going.
This requires a great deal of work, on a daily base, from both partners.
Again: love is action. It's the result of the action that gives you those feelings of loving someone and being loved.
Through those actions, the love between two partners becomes visible to the rest of the world.
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At the moment being in love for me is the most powerful, influential, painful, saddening, resilient, crushing and hard to fight emotion I have ever experienced.
But I'm fighting it, next time it will hopefully work both ways.
The post above nails it perfectly. However I'll say from my personal experience, I fell out of love with my wife over a decade ago, pretty much within a year of being with her as my gf. When that happened, love began. Fourteen years and ten years of marriage later, through some amazing times and our relationship almost ending, we are still together. My heart longs for my wife every moment I am awake, I think about her anytime I can, I want to be with her whenever I can (both sexually and just "around"). Everything you've described and more, but none of those things comprise my love for her and her love for me. None! Those things are what eminate from love. Those, and the bad things too. Love is the redefinition of your ego to accomodate another ego. That accomodation includes their entire ego, both good and bad. From that change in ego comes those feelings.Quote:
Originally Posted by girl68 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It's only when you fall out of love when true love begins. The problem with our Western society is people connect too much of what you describe to being "in love" and never give love a chance because they fear those things disappear with love. 100% wrong and backwards. But like being addicted to something, it's hard to wean people off.
A book you should and pick up and read about ego and love is from Eckhart Tolle called "A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose." If you can comprehend what he is saying about ego, love will be a sinch.
You get a thank you for that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Seradin DaCuir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Dead on.