Is my BF being a Jerk or am I expecting too much
My BF and I been going official and exclusive in a relationship since April 3 till now. So this is not just another date. Just want to make my post clear.
Beginning stage, we never set schedule to meet up...and he initiated all the meetings with me and it's like 4-5 days a week.
Later, things die down a bit so I initiated and asked if we can set a schedule to meet up since we both have got things to do, right? Just a better way to plan things out for ourselves. But the schedule is NOT cast in stone...we set Mon and Wed [2x a week] and of coz we can reschedule if we need to accommodate our things.
We met up this Monday, had a superb great time worked out in the gym together, cooked, chat. I enjoyed. Tues came, no meet and he didnt call me nor text me. Wed came and I assume it's the normal meet up...no phone calls no text we both went to work.
After work, usually Mon and Wed my coworker carpools with me and will drop me off at my BF's work place, I will ride with my BF home/ hangout. On the FWY for 40 mins already and still no calls from my BF which is NOT normal...and I was about to arrive his office. So I called him.
He told me he still at work coz he decided to work extra hours to make up the leave he is taking this weekend from work.
I said: "Well..I..thought we're hanging out tonite..no?"
He said: "Well nothing been set, we never talked about it"
I said: " Huh, I thought we had an agreement to hangout Mon & Wed, didnt we? I'd appreciate if you were to inform me earlier...I am about to arrive your workplace and I prepared dinner for us tonite"
He said: "EVERY Mon and Wed??" [his tone already sounded very bad, like I am demanding GF]
I kept repeating on the phone "that is what I thought we agreed upon, am I missing anything I didnt know???"
Then he told me he decided to make up the hours on Tues nite and he will make up those hours by working extra on Wed and Thurs. Then he said he is very busy this week coz his niece has this sweet 16 party and it's big thing for Mexican family and he has to help out after work and after his class.
Then also he told me his friend from out of town coming so he is taking off not only saturday BUT sunday.....I guess I dont get to see him this week.
But I am sad not coz I cannot see him this week. I am sad coz I felt being ditched. I think, to me, it's a courtesy to tell your GF/BF or even regular friends...if you need to stay n make up the hours?
I didnt like it especially when he says with a very impatient tone ""EVERY Mon and Wed??" "Again, I only decided on Tues to make up the hours!"
Am I wrong? Am I expecting too much?
So should I initiate to call BF back or wait?
Thanks guys, I finally got over it and understand that I have the majority of the responsibility on this issue....but my friend told me just wait and don't call him toll he calls. What you guys advise, then? Today is Friday and for the past Fridays, I'll make PRIOR arrangement with him and ask if we can have dinner together during his meal break at work [he works 5-midnite on Fridays].
We have not talked to each other since that day of the "argument". That day, he DID briefly mention "If you want,we can have quick dinner on friday"
But nothing really confirmed not set. I am afraid...not sure to call or not to call. But per my friend he says I have been treating my BF too nice, overly nice that is why I should not call him now until he calls back.
What shall I do?
Other than space what else can i do to flourish this relationship?
To lahnnabell
Thanks and I am glad I waited for the reply in this forum before I take any action. I was sooo tempted to call him for dinner at work on friday yesterday but I held back and wait for reply here. Coz I don want to screw up. You are correct lahnnabell...why do I rush here? I want the quality of him and quality time with him and his quality love n quality emotion...
I am really glad u guys always give constructive advice...yes I think bf and I progressed TOO FAST...we said the "L" word like 1 month after just dating...he didnt know why he said it so soon but he told me he FELT it that way [love]...
I really treasure this person n this relationship and DO want to make it work...so...in order to make it work...am I to give him space? Dont call him till he calls me??
Other than space what else can i do to make us work? to flourish this relationship? I am willing to do whatever u guys advise..if i can make this relationship works.....