I can't understand what she is thinking
Well, me and my girlfriend come from a very conservative society in India, where 90% marriages are still arranged marriages and "Love marriage" percentage is as low as it's acceptance is in our society. This summarize the situation we're living in and one can assume that that's not a good environment by any means, especially of loved ones.
I came in contact with her when I was in third year of my college. We were casual friends before, nothing else. And she was very close with another guy from the starting of the college days. He was the first guy as a friend in her life and even after being with me, she has admired his efforts as a very good friend of her. I don't have problem with that either.
But as the time went on, the over attention of the guy mentioned above while we are in relationship bothered me big time. So I told her, in a very polite manner, that over attention of that guy towards her does irritate me. After that conversation, I found out a sudden change in my gf's and that guy's behaviour. They hardly even look at each other in my presence. And I can't believe that the guy had changed overnight that he turned his attention away from her, but that what did exactly happened.
So, I did asked her upon this situation stating that due to my involvement if she is ruining his friendship or what?. I also clarified that her phone conversations with that particular guy doesn't bother me until it's maintained at some limits. She answered to this saying that the guy didn't like what she said accidentally once and has never called her after that, neither she had called him. So I said OK and moved on.
But even after all this, when that guy is around, my gf runs away from me as if she don't want to expose to him that we're committed to each other and this blows away my mind. Moreover, she always tend to check out for this guy and acts as if she doesn't mean to do it to hide the fact from me.
And most recently I've found out or I suspect that they do call each other on another number that is unknown to me, and she always have excuses when I ask her being late or unavailable on her phone.
Moreover, she always tells me that she respect our society and curb my desire to hangout outside college at some place by saying that if her relatives will find out this, we'll never be able to even talk again. So we have never seen each other outside college campus for date. Yeah that's true. But I always feel and tell her that going for a dinner or movie won't hurt anybody's morals even if they catch us. But still she denies for it no matter what I do as if she doesn't even care.
But on a positive side, we do text each other many times a day and have a phone conversation for about 30min everyday on average. Also she tells she loves me and respect my feelings towards her and she will tell her parents that she want to marry me and will try to convince them for me. My parents already know her as my close friend and I'm sure they will let me follow my heart. On her side, only her cousin know about me from her house and no one else.
So, all in all, she sounds different and she behaves different. What should I do? And ya, she often lies to me if I ask her the reason due to which she is unable to receive my calls. Should I believe in what this girl says, or should I believe in her behavior which is not so good for our relationship to grow more.
I deeply love her and even if I've found out that she has another number and talks to the other guy, I still believe that it's a friendly talk nothing else. But that fact that she want to hide that from me really hurts me. As I assume that if I overlook it, she will do such things again even after I marry her. What's in this girl's mind? What should I do? I really need some advise over this as I'm totally confused on what to do?
Sorry it's a long read, but kind people, please help me out :stuckup:
