She no longer makes me happy, but I love her so much.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 19 months. At first everything was great we were happy all the time and I had thought I found " The one". After about 7 months together I asked her move in with me. And even at that point everything still seemed great. I was always thinking about her and even was out looking at rings. I thought this was the girl I was gonna marry.
Fast forward to about 10 months into the relationship. I had begun to notice that we had seemingly little in common. And she has seemed to start letting herself go. She started gaining weight and stopped exercising. And the more time we spent together the more i notice we have nothing in common. As time has passed it seems the only thing we really have in common is sex. She like it at least once a day, and I like it too, but she only likes 2 positions, which gets boring kinda. She refuses to do anything else and will not do oral or let me do oral. I begin to think sex is all that holds the relationship together at times.
She is 3 years younger than me and I think we are on 2 different pages in life. She often seems to be immature to me, and she gets too upset to talk about our relationship and the way things are going. She also yells when she gets upset. So when I try to tell her how I feel about the relationship she cries and yells and I just stopped bringing it up because of this. I wish I could just sit down and have an adult conversation with her.
She has no hobbies, and she really has no friends. She has me and she has work. And she needs to be with me 100% of the time for some reason. I have no time for myself, my hobbies, or my friends anymore. When I do hang out with my friends she comes along with, but always gets upset that I am not giving her enough attention when around my friends for the short period of time that we are around my friends.
Now everyday I realize more and more that I am unhappy when she is around. She brings me down and it makes me lazy, unproductive and depressed. I try to do things around the house to take my mind off it and she thinks I am insulting her because she didn't clean something up that I had to clean up behind her. I often feel is if I can't do anything without upsetting her.
I trust her, but I feel she sees this coming too because she started talking to her ex-boyfriend again. She hides it from me, she thinks I don't see who she is texting, then when I ask her how it is she just says "nobody". She still has more pictures of them together on her MySpace and FaceBook than she does of us. Not really a big issue, but something I notice.
Another issue is that I am losing physical attraction to her. I always tell her I love her and that I am happy just the way she is if she is happy. But she has gained 60lbs and went from a size 6 to a size 14 in the past 18months.
The real issue is I think I want to break up with her, but I love her so much it feels impossible to do. I don't know if I could upset her that much, watch her cry, and still go through with it. I do know for sure that she is no longer "the one" and I will never marry her. So why should I keep this going if it is going nowhere. But at the same time I would hate to see her end up with some shitty guy that would not treat her well. I love her still and would never want anything bad to happen to her. I treat her like an angel, and she knows it. But she just no longer makes me happy. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to think about. And I don't know how to make it work when we have nothing in common.
What should I do and how?
Thanks.
