Complicated Relationship with Best Friend
So I have known my best friend for a while now. The two of us talk everyday, text a lot and inbox and chat with each other all the time on FB. She is the closest friend I have ever had and a big part of my daily part. A few months ago I realized I was falling for her. She had everything I was looking for in a girl. We had an amazing chemistry that even her other friends were saying that the two of us looked great and should date each other. I was also quite close with her family and they liked me a lot. In fact she told me that if we dated, she would tell her mom as she wouldn't mind if it was me and not some other guy. I confessed my feelings to her on my birthday when she came to give me a hug and wish me. She said she was really surprised to hear that from me (I was the type of guy who wasnt interested in dating or girls until I met her) and she said she isn't ready to date yet. She had broken up with her boyfriend about 5 months ago and she realized that the past relationship she had was a mistake. So I just agreed to let it go and maybe see where it goes.
Even though she knows how I feel, it just made us very close (almost like in a relationship) and we would flirt now and then. I was worried that it was going nowhere so I would frequently ask questions about it to her. One day she admitted that she had feelings for me but that she were ignoring them. I asked her why and she said she isn't sure about anything. So again I let it go but I took it as a good thing. She even said that I was the only guy she trusted enough to date Recently we had been arguing about where this was going. In the end she told me that she was sure she didnt have feelings for me and that her mind will probably not change. I was devastated as I did not know what to do.
Everything that I did or said was to win her over. I was always there for her as a best friend and I made her feel more special than any of her boyfriends ever did. She knows that I am the nicest guy she will ever date but despite everything that I have done for her, she doesn't feel the same way. She told me those feelings she once had are gone. In the end, I was left wondering that even after all that I have done or said (trust me I did a lot for her) and it was still not enough, what do other guys have to do to win her over. We both deactivated our FB accounts due to exams but now the exams are over and I am wondering if I should start talking to her again. I realize it will be very awkward.
Bottom line is, I realize that this is all my fault as I may have pressurized her and not a day goes by that I regret confessing my feelings to her. Now I am left wondering what I should do. (Sorry for the long post.)
