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First impressions
Hey all :)
Im 16 and going off to an international student conference in a few weeks, being a kinda nerdy kid who has a small group of friends and thats it, I want to step out of my comfort zone and try meeting some people I wouldn't usually go up to, (maybe some girls haha ;) ) I also want to make some contacts while I am there because this is supposed to be some of the smartest and well connected kids in the world, so it would be good to stay in touch.
My question is basically asking what are tips for making a good first impression, especially to people who will probably speak english as a second language, so communication is harder. Whenever I do these kind of things I usually just dont get involved and when I do, people find my wit funny for a short while, then lose interest and it is hard to establish a friendship. It will be me and a good friend of mine who has a ridiculous talent for just making friends with absolutely anyone, he just seems to be super likable, so I might ask him for some tips, but I fear I might bw overshadowed by by him somewhat.
Sorry for the ramble, any thoughts? :D
Tl;DR Advice for making good first impressions in a foreign country with people who speak english as a second language (so may not appreciate witty or sarcastic humour)?
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What you just described reminds me of a friend of mine who is also witty and funny but bores people quickly.
Quick story. We talked to these girls in a bar. That is, I talked to them. He was alone and i was like, come join us. He did. He started talking to them. I left for 10 minutes. They were gone. How did he manage to lose them in 10 minutes? From what I noticed, they talked about college. The problem is, he kept talking about it. The classes, professors etc. Booooring. On a saturday night especially. When you ask a girl if she finds mechanics a hard class on a saturday night, she isn't going to have much fun talking to you. Just reality. He was basically desperate to find something in common. Big mistake IMO. By keeping it persnal, you can talk to just about anybody IMO..
I focus on the people I talk to. Or as Joey would say, how you doin. It's silly but 'how you doin' gets to the bottom of it. It's all about it. How you doin. How i'm doin. Personable.
It takes some time though. I was also socially akward at your age. Just try to allow your conversations to flow effortlessly. It really isn't a supernatural skill. The main thing is, keeping it personal.
That's from one former socially akward kid to another. At your age I wasn't able to have a 2 minute conversation with a girl. Now I can meet a random chick in a bar and talk all night.
From my experience, keeping it personal is the best way. How to do it? You get a feel for it with time. Just focus on it. Best conversations are effortless. There's gota be a flow to it. The thing is though, you gotta be comfortable with yourself and willing to talk about yourself. Give and take.
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just try to focus on who you're talking to, less about yourself. be confident too.
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Random topics, have a few ready to bring out for example ask them where are they from, ask about their family, about trips, what music or concerts have they been to, what interests do they have. If they live locally ask bout the best places to eat, other clubs and bars, what are some good places to go. Ask questions about their culture, holiday events...I can go on and on. It's pretty simple.
Tip: never one up people, you know your experience was better than theirs. I work with guy right now that does this and it has left a bad impression on the rest of the staff. His one ups are so exaggerated I feel like slapping him.
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Thanks Smackie :) Yep I have heard that said about me with the one upping thing and I really hate it about myself, I am trying to conciously stop myself doing it, I guess I just feel kind of insecure and that I have to try and show off and be funny for other people to like me, usually girls :( But thanks again and I will keep trying :D
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just talk.. dont think too much. let the convos flow