Erase me from her life....

Ive been in the dating game and been through pretty much everything there is to do... but ive never had a girl completely try and erase me from her life...

I've been with the same girl for the past 7 months and i thought things were going ok, we argued alot but who doesnt? I was good at forgetting arguments and starting afresh, she took it all to heart and things built up to a point where we were away for 2 days and at the end of the two days she ended the relationship. I suppose those two days were a sort of test to see if we would be good together, looks like I failed.

I loved this girl to bits she was one in a million, miles better than anything ive ever had - maybe not in looks but she blew the competition out of the water with personality - the nicest girl ive ever met...

It came as such a shock to me, i werent expecting it, she says she still wants to remain friends.

Cutting all the details out, I log onto facebook and see that shes removed me as a friend... shes still got my friends added... i text her to see whatsup... no reply... message her on facebook... no reply... text her again asking her to read her facebook messages... no reply... ive never had to deal with this before, i understand her finishing things, and that alone has killed me, but trying to erase me from her lfie completely? Thats put a nail through my heart completely...

Please help me make sense of this...

It's not because she doesn't care... it's because she's still attached. By deleting you on fb, not replying to texts etc. she's trying to limit the amount she thinks about you, and subsequently would want you back. It's generally because she's hurting very much over the break up, and chances are when you try to make contact, it may put a smile on her face, but it drags her into a dilemma on what to do.

It's best for you to just respect the distance she wants to put between you two while it's still fresh, then maybe in a few weeks you can start to make contact again. I've gone through this exact same thing where I loved my ex so much I couldn't bear to be friends with him and nothing else. I deleted him off fb, out of my phonebook etc. It helped a lot and after a while I was able to be friends with him again.

Obviously you are also hurting and it seems it may be better for you if you guys were still in contact, but in the long run (from personal experience) it's best to have a cooling off period after a break up. You need to remember though, that her actions right now are no reflection on what the relationship meant to her. At this point, she will probably be irrational... confused... back and forth... for the sake of your well being, it's best for you to give her a bit of distance as close contact now could mean you also getting hurt.

Sorry if that seems a bit harsh, but I've been through this too and that's just my opinion :)

It means No Contact something we advise on here.

it's so she can process everything and go about her daily life without looking back on how she feels about you every second, kind of like removing you to sort herself out, everyone does it, you need to as well

Some people are better at it than others...they move on so quickly it's like you become a stranger to them overnight.

Others take longer to cut ties...

It's sad because everybody needs closure and your don't necesarily feel closure overnight..;sometime you need to talk it through and understand but it's not always possible like in your case when the other person has shut the door already.

No Contact rules...Cut your losses, learn from this and find other interests, new friends, new things to do..

Don't try to explore further the situation or to find out what she's up to...you might end up hurting more if you find out she's dating already.

SJD

lol my situation is more worst thn you..your gf only deleted your from facebook .........but my gf of 3 years not only deleted me from facebook but also blocked me,changed her id's and contacts as well its been 1 and a half month now

do no contact rule applies on me lol coz i already have no way to contact her apart from her mother's cell number but she is not less thn a ...........she will never allow me to talk to her even she herslef wantd me to quit frm her life.............

my situation is fully hopeless

I do this to my ex boyfriends, even the nice ones that I still kind of like.

Don't take it personally. For some people it's hard to be friends. The only way of truly moving on is to literally erase someone from your life. It's a cathartic experience.

She want's to move on in a healthy way. Let her.

Some insight into why I do it: I rebound quickly, I start dating right away and I don't want him to see it. Also, I super jealous. If a girl is writing on his FB I'd rather not see it. Technically it's none of my business but it would make me feel bad so I'd rather eliminate seeing it entirely. He has the freedom to move on and so do I.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do this to my ex boyfriends, even the nice ones that I still kind of like.

Don't take it personally. For some people it's hard to be friends. The only way of truly moving on is to literally erase someone from your life. It's a cathartic experience.

She want's to move on in a healthy way. Let her.

Some insight into why I do it: I rebound quickly, I start dating right away and I don't want him to see it. Also, I super jealous. If a girl is writing on his FB I'd rather not see it. Technically it's none of my business but it would make me feel bad so I'd rather eliminate seeing it entirely. He has the freedom to move on and so do I.

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have you ever came back (patch up) after breaking all contacts with that person or have you seen anyone in your frnd circle who had a messy break up changed her/his all contacts to get rid of her/his ex but thn after few mnths or weeks got back togather?

No I haven't.

I'm not the type of person who plays games. When I break up with a person it's for a good reason and I mean it. I won't be back. When a guy breaks up with me (which happened recently) I believe what he says and even if he says he's made a mistake and wants me back (also happened) I've never returned to the relationship.

It's important to me in a relationship that both people are all-in and committed. Breaking up and getting back together shows a level of non willingness to commit (on my side or his) that I'm uncomfortable with.

Sometimes it;s easier and better to start a new clean slate with someone else.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No I haven't.

I'm not the type of person who plays games. When I break up with a person it's for a good reason and I mean it. I won't be back. When a guy breaks up with me (which happened recently) I believe what he says and even if he says he's made a mistake and wants me back (also happened) I've never returned to the relationship.

It's important to me in a relationship that both people are all-in and committed. Breaking up and getting back together shows a level of non willingness to commit (on my side or his) that I'm uncomfortable with.

Sometimes it;s easier and better to start a new clean slate with someone else.

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have anyone in your frnd circle done ths ? mean after break up he/she would have broken all contacts by changing numbers and id's but then got back/patch up

Stop being creepy and just leave your girlfriend alone.

Get out, get some new hobbies, date some girls. Try to distract yourself into moving on. You can't control or predict whether or not she'll come back to you so just try and let it go.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Stop being creepy and just leave your girlfriend alone.

Get out, get some new hobbies, date some girls. Try to distract yourself into moving on. You can't control or predict whether or not she'll come back to you so just try and let it go.

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um just trying to ask that is there still a hope that after changing her all contacts she can come back?

I don't know her so I can't give you false hope.

If I go by my own experience, no, there is no hope for that. Move on.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know her so I can't give you false hope.

If I go by my own experience, no, there is no hope for that. Move on.

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yeah i know every person is different so cant read anyones mind
imn my situation we had a 3year of relationship n in these 3 years she never askd abt breakup until the 1st and last time when out of blue she said it as we had few disputes the whole week b4 so she said she fed up and i tried to get her back by calling n txting her n created a mess coz of that after 8 days of breakup she changed her id n cell numbers....its been 1.5 mnth since we broke up n 19 days without contact ...

You can't control her coming back and obsessing about the situation is only going to make you feel HORRIBLE.

The best thing you can do for your own health is to try your best to distract yourself and find other things that make you happy. Concentrate on lifting youself out of the sad feeling you have now.

Whether or not your ex comes back, you will feel better after you do this.