Hi All,
I tried to post this the other day but lost all my text just before I submitted... so will keep this brief as possible for your sanity and mine.
I am in the process of breaking up with my live in girlfriend of 7 years. On a nearly day by day basis I am changing my mind as to whether I am doing the right thing...
We have an extremely insular relationship... as in we have managed to isolate ourselves from all of our friends over the years and now pretty much only have each other. I personally feel this is what has suffocated us.
My GF has huge jealousy issues and attachment problems. To be fair I have somewhat catered to these issues as well as it was easier than creating problems by challenging them.
We never socialise with other people and spend nearly 99% of our time with each other (we even call each other at lunchtime everyday when we are at work for example... I know, I know)
Also she is 7 years older than me ( i am 27) and is approaching that time of her life where she want's to have a family... something I have been up for up until late. I am now reconsidering but am also wondering whether I am thinking straight.
About 6 months ago I had a serious discussion with my GF and explained it wasn't healthy for us to almost entirely socially isolate ourselves. I then made more of an effort to go out with my work colleagues (by going to the pub on a Friday after work etc..) & suggested to her that perhaps she should do the same with her colleagues.
Her response to this was that I was trying to push her away & the natural progression of things was that I wanted to find somebody else & end the relationship, which at the time I did not want.
Roll on 6 months of almost near weekly arguments and I am a broken man.
Like all people we have had a rough relationship... & we have always had each other for support. We've had our fair share of 'family breakdowns', redundancies etc & I do feel that these events have taken their toll on our 7 year relationship. I supported her through 3 years of being out of work and she supposed me through a serious bout of depression, which is now unfortunately returning. However I feel that I no longer have the energy to fight and keep this boat afloat any more whereas before I never thought about giving up.
I know that she is fragile and has nobody to support her other than myself. She emigrated to this country about 10 years ago so her network of friend & family from before are a long way away. She has also said she would end her life if I chose to end the relationship as she has nothing else to live for... and she has a history of self harm.
I suppose what I'm asking is is 7 years too long to end a relationship... or am I just having the notorious 7 year itch? My mind is changing like the wind at the moment, I just feel very lost and would appreciate some feedback from those of you who have experienced something similar or who just want to give some advise.
Thank you if you have made it this far... and cheers for any thoughts.