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Am I overthinking this?
I’ve been speaking to this guy for a few months now. He lives quite far away and finally earlier this month he flew down to see me. It was great fun, with a few awkward silences which I think is normal, and we were intimate a few times (it was very passionate as well). Before he came down we talked every day, spoke on the phone every night and were very subtle in our flirtations.
Now that he has gone back we haven’t spoken too much. He is working so I understand he’s preoccupied but that never really stopped him. Seeing him in person really confirmed my feelings and now when he doesn’t respond, it’s an issue where it never bothered me before.
I’m not sure if he’s in the same boat as me trying to figure out his feelings or he is trying to phase me out. When we do speak, the conversation is pretty much normal like it was before all this just infrequent. He has spoken about coming down again a couple of times. I don’t know whether I’m just overthinking it because I have feelings for him.
Should I be upfront with how I feel, give it some time (it’s been a week since he was here) or just let it go? I’m scared of rejection, but I’m so strongly fighting talking to him about how I feel which I’ve never felt before. I’ve always been able to put my feelings aside.
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Hey, well, be came to spend time with you, you’ve been intimate, and now he’s not communicating as much. This is the danger that us girls are always in, if we have sex, will he”still love me tomorrow?”. It sucks, but that’s the reality of our dating, adult existence. Personally, I would give him a few more days, maybe the weekend, then give him a call and make plans to visit again. If he’s vague, then just walk away. I feel that walking away is better than being strung along, when you could be putting your thoughts and energy into other, fun things, rather than waiting for him to return your communications in a timely and respectful manner. Best of the best luck to you in your situation.
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I was hoping there would be a response from a guy. I agree with Jedi..It was exciting when you hadn't met yet and then you did and had sex. You say your conversations are the same as before and he has mentioned coming to see you again, so maybe you ARE over thinking it.
The only way to know though is to talk to him about how you are feeling and what you want from the relationship.
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There is no way to tell what type of person he is. Was he looking for a FWB? Was he genuine, but didn't feel it clicked, or is he truly busy. Personally, if I am interested in someone and I spent the time to fly down to see someone, I would let that person know even if I am busy. I would something like " I really like you, but I a lot of things going on. I hope you understand...."
Since it has been a while, just tell him your feelings and see what he says.
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