They Can't just stop lying, can they????
Is it so hard for them to tell the truth???????????
I wish he hadn't told me he couldn't live without me!!!!!! for he never stopped me when I was leaving.....
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They Can't just stop lying, can they????
Is it so hard for them to tell the truth???????????
I wish he hadn't told me he couldn't live without me!!!!!! for he never stopped me when I was leaving.....
Would you have had sex with him if he hadn't told you all those lies?
How much of that is our fault, if women play games with their sexuality and try to get guy to "swim oceans and climb mountains" for sex instead of simply being honest with us guys about your true intentions?
Do you not subscribe to the "romantic" notion that all is "fair" in love and war?
Welcome to Loveforum! While we do speak love, blood, and rhetoric....you haven't actually asked anything useful, and frankly nobody here is really going to console you for having a temper tantrum.
The answers to your rhetorical questions:
1) All people lie regardless of gender.
2) It's sheer hubris to expect to hear the truth when what you absolutely don't want to hear is the truth.
3) That's just what we call pillow-talk baby.
Actual answers:
1) Because you choose to date men who lie.
2) Telling the truth is often the most emotionally painful thing a person can do. We (current society) are raised to avoid conflict, so we do it to your own detriment.
3) Any woman that can walk away from him so easily isn't worth holding on to, let alone stopping from leaving.
I'm 27 years old I guess i know exactly what Pillow talk is.........Quote:
Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I walked away from him when I caught him cheating..... and he never tried to stop me
I just can't take it out of my mind how many times he said he can't live without me
Oh he sounds like a dick, forget him.
It's not that easy believe me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTooya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Then why are you acting shocked?
Why would you want him to stop you... He was cheating on you, and you caught him. Why don't you respect yourself more than to want him to beg for you to take him back?
He can live without you, anyone who tells you that they can't is either codependent or so mentally retarded they can't tie their own shoe. It's easy to get caught up in the rush of emotion surrounding a relationship. It's easy to say things in a moment that brings you closer to someone, even if it isn't quite the truth. And, honestly it's really not easy being a guy. I don't think a lot of people, regardless of sex, realize exactly how difficult our lives really are. Obviously we have the (waning) privilege of the dominant sex, and a few other things going for us, but Well...
Women tell us they want us to be sensitive, then they dump you because they lost respect for you the moment you were weak. Women communicate on a completely different level than men do, yet they don't understand that men don't communicate in that way. This frustrates both sexes immensely. As for the cheating part? There could be any number of reasons why he'd do it. Sometimes it just happens, you develop an emotional connection and you're just simply too personally weak to break it off. Sometimes you're just a dirtbag that doesn't respect your significant other. Or, maybe he just can't keep his penis in his pants. I cheated on my first wife because the only two decisions I could understand in my depression over the state of our relationship was that I could either have an affair, or I could kill myself. The idea that I could divorce someone was alien to me. Suicide was a better choice than divorce to me.
Now I'm married again, and it's an amazing relationship.
Life is hard, it has a lot of painful and difficult choices in it that you have to make. Many of us avoid those choices out of fear, indecision, and avoidance of pain. Yet, I can tell you for a fact that 90% of my relationship issues all stem from not making a hard choice when I needed to, and in the end I just made it all worse by not doing what I needed to because it was painful. I was afraid of emotional pain.
And, it is that easy to walk away from him. It's not that easy to get over the feelings of anger and betrayal, but leaving him is as simple as making the choice and living with it. Everything else is simply the healing process. Then you'll find someone else, and hopefully you'll have learned enough to pick a better SO the next time around.
Lite, you are a cool guy.
Cool? No, I'm just so damn sensitive to things that I'm afraid of the world.
Mostly I just hope that if I relate a little bit of the personal dating hell that I've drug myself through, maybe they'll get smart and not be like how I was then... I still have bad days, but far fewer of them as I get older and I realize that not being married to a heinously selfish bitch is a good thing for me developmentally. And no, I don't blame my first marriage's failure completely on my wife. It takes two to play, and I made my own share of mistakes. In the end it was her general lack of respect for my needs that drove me to find someone else. The first day I set foot in therapy and went over everything that had gone on in my marriage to my first wife, my therapist put her hand on my shoulder and said, "I know you're hurting, but I want you to consider the possibility that this divorce will be one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself." And, she was right.
You are right.. Men are always men but still you can find some nice men around who are faithful with their beloved. Its my personal experience and I have really seen some of my girlfriends hanging around those[URL="http://www.myboyisandiot.com"] idiot boys[/URL] who are finding just one night stand. However, I have also seen a few who are very faithful and you can trust on those ones blindly.
But my overall experience attracts me at your point of view. Although, some of them may be good but most of them are not. Well, I hope you will find one soon and may be your thinking will be changed after a while. After all, it is life and the views are dynamic here.
Thanks
Perhaps I could offer some advice that pertains to almost all men. Not true for 100% of men, but for most men.
1. If you give him what he needs, he will give you what you need, unless he is a douche bag. And what that boils down to is, sex. Sex for men is a NEED, not a WANT. If you don't understand that, your relationships are doomed forever. And I don't say that glibly. I'm not saying jump into bed on the first date, I'm saying, eventually, you will have to give him what he needs, as long as you have evidence that he is a good, loyal person.
2. Try to find men where more high-quality men hang out. If you want good looks from a man, then you must sacrifice honesty and loyalty. If you want honesty and loyalty, you must, in general, sacrifice good looks.
3. Men who just want to have lots of partners, I think, are just in their "adventurous" stage of life, or they have insecurity issues, and having lots of partners makes them feel wanted. Either one is probably not what you are looking for.
I don't think she knows how to tell the liers from the honest ones. Really, I don't.Quote:
Actual answers:
1) Because you choose to date men who lie.
True. The OP must take an active role and encourage her bf to tell the truth. Most women today will not take an active role in their relationship, and that's why, IMO, their relationships fail. And this is why I only date women who message me first on the dating website. They need to have that confidence to message me first as the foundation of many other things in the relationship rests on this confidence. I'm already confident, so it is up to me to weed out the unconfident.Quote:
2) Telling the truth is often the most emotionally painful thing a person can do. We (current society) are raised to avoid conflict, so we do it to your own detriment.
Ya got a point there.Quote:
3) Any woman that can walk away from him so easily isn't worth holding on to, let alone stopping from leaving.
Not a universal truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by bulrush [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Don't get me wrong but sex is not the no 1 priority for all men out there.
There are men, like me, who value love and affection and companionship much higher than sex.
And I am not talking bullshit. My ex would always say that our sex life was super-duper amazing. But that's all she ever wanted from me. No affection, no companionship, no real-love.
After our split up I had at least two chances to have breakup sex with her. Guess what? I didn't take them, because I am much better of having sex with a prostitute than a cold-hearted selfish person who will don't take into account that sex with her involves feelings for me.
Even when we were exchanging angry emails, while breaking up, she told me that what hurt her the most was that I said that sex was not the most important thing in our relationship for me.
Having a partner that wants you just for sex is as bad for men as it is for women. And there are men out-there that they see sex as just another part of the relationship and not the relationship it self.
Bottom line, there are women like men who want only sex. And there are men like women who don't see sex the main objective of a relationship. Its good when they two that want the same meet.
Vampiress just hang on in there and don't loose faith. There is a man out there who will not hurt you and break your heart. Take care sweetie.
Because those ones are Coward. They are insecure for lying behaviour, and bastard for cheating. I hope not all are the same, amen.
Thank god somebody said it.Quote:
Originally Posted by ForMadmenOnly [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm not shocked, I'm broken hearted.... I only wanted him to beg me to come back because I'm in love with him and I'm not really proud of my self for that.Quote:
Then why are you acting shocked?
Why would you want him to stop you... He was cheating on you, and you caught him. Why don't you respect yourself more than to want him to beg for you to take him back
IT JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO U MEAN IT JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN IT JUST HAPPEN????????????????Quote:
As for the cheating part? There could be any number of reasons why he'd do it. Sometimes it just happens, you develop an emotional connection and you're just simply too personally weak to break it off.
Lite my friend thank u so much for u're advice and forgive me for having a temper!!!!! For I feel so empty, alone and unwanted???? and as you have said "It's not that easy to get over the feelings of anger and betrayal" I hope I'll get over it someday
believe me sex had never been an issue between us. at the end of our days he was just yellin' at me for no good reason... I just stood there and took it trying my best to be positive cause I knew he was having some work issues ... and I NEVER EVER refused sex because he was mean to me..Quote:
If you give him what he needs, he will give you what you need, unless he is a douche bag. And what that boils down to is, sex. Sex for men is a NEED, not a WANT. If you don't understand that, your relationships are doomed forever. And I don't say that glibly. I'm not saying jump into bed on the first date, I'm saying, eventually, you will have to give him what he needs, as long as you have evidence that he is a good, loyal person.
well we met at work..... I don't know what I chose !!!!!!!!!!! I just fell for him..... I couldn't resist his words....Quote:
Try to find men where more high-quality men hang out. If you want good looks from a man, then you must sacrifice honesty and loyalty. If you want honesty and loyalty, you must, in general, sacrifice good looks.